Editor's Note: I started writing this last school year when Vinny was still and 8th grader. It took some time to finish it, apparently. Anyways, he's been a freshman in high school for about a month. More on that later, hopefully.
Last night we went to Vinny's Pre Registration night for High School, also known as Shit's About to Get Real.
The night was almost as informative as it was terrifying. High school ain't what it used to be. Yes, sports fans, high school is the new college. And I'm pretty sure that's a terrible idea for children.
"You should have had kids when you were younger. If you hadn't waited so long high school would have been easier for you," says my Mom in her guilt inducing Catholic voice offering the perfect solution.
Thank you Baby Jesus, Mary, Mom and Joseph.
If only I had taken the Turn Back Time course in college. It just didn't fit into my schedule though, which is probably all the more reason to have taken it.
But there is comfort in knowing Cher understands what I'm feeling right now.
Song playing in my head:
If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time
ooh baby
Fortunately and unfortunately, our teenager has been recommended for some of the most challenging courses the high school has to offer. And by challenging, I mean they unleash an hour or more of homework per night. Some of them are college level classes, where you actually get college credit if you score very high on the test.
Honors Biology
Honors English
Spanish 1
AP Human Geography ( a course The husband and I both took IN COLLEGE)
Integrated III (used to be called Algebra 2 sort of)
P.E.
Study Hall (I insisted he take this because I'm smart and practical and I love my child)
Calculating......................
5 Classes x 1 hour per night = A crap load of homework!
I'm no mathmetician , but, four to six hours of homework per night seems impossible. Plus weekend homework. Plus homework during school breaks. And get this Internet, homework during Summer Vacation, which I'm pretty sure is illegal, as well as the work of cute but evil, wet gremlins.
Vinny's response to Summer homework is, "well, I'll probably be bored during Summer Vacation anyways."
Good answer teenager! Really, I'm not being sarcastic, Vinny. Mommy loves you.
Today's kids lack a proper sense of boredom.
The power ballad of today's teenagers is, "Time management is the key to success, time management is the key to success, time management is the key to success."
And the teenagers are way ahead of me on time management.
As if to prove their theory of more is better, the high school administrators brought in real, live students to testify on the Bible of Busy.
"Taking four or five AP courses is toats (short for totally) doable," proclaim the students. "And it's actually easier if you do three sports and take band at the same time, because it forces you to manage your time."
Which I'm sure is fine as long as long as no one commits suicide! And that's no joke, Internet.
What I'm actually beginning to grasp is this. Having kids never, ever gets easy. When the fire of one problem is nearly out and barely smoldering, five more new challenges pop up that need to be put out with an ocean's worth of water.
And this Internet is when I realized what was really bothering me. High school is stealing my baby, without even offering an apology. As if this high school is a helpful transition before Vinny moves out of the house onto brighter and better things.
Wails loudly.
Just to be sure to instill terror in me, an AP instructor steps up to the podium and delivers one final sermon from the Busy Bible, "You have to ask yourself if AP classes are right for your student and your family?" "Are you willing to sacrifice your Sunday evenings, your school vacations, summer break, your first born? Because if you aren't, then AP isn't for you."
I'm certain AP isn't for me.
But I'm just as certain AP is for my teenager because he's intelligent, doesn't procrastinate, takes responsibility for his life, and most importantly he doesn't want to lose his computer and all that precious screen time.
Good luck Vinny! Mommy loves you so much!
