I Need A Vacation From My Vacation

I think this was taken on Saturday, the best I've surfed Trestles.
I look very happy.

Just got back from a week in Southern California. We stayed within a mile of one of my favorite surf spots, Trestles located in San Clemente. Translation: I'm tired.

I was up everyday very early, usually around 4 or 4:30am to go surfing, so I could be back early to visit family. I was very busy.

I did sleep in til 6 am two times. Once on purpose, the day we went to Disneyland and I didn't even surf. Shocking, I know.

Then the day after Disneyland, I accidentally over slept, until 6am. I was struck with a severe case of Disneyland hangover. Let's just say Mickey drank me under the table. Who knew a mouse could drink so much?

It was a very fun trip. We all loved seeing and reconnecting with family. And the waves, well, I think they called it the swell of the decade or something. Saturday was the best day by far, but the other days were fun. I logged about 19 hours of surf in 6 days and I'm stoked.

The first few days of swell were the biggest. Friday, the first day, I got caught inside by a large set wave, drug in 100 feet, and lost my right contact, all before catching my first wave.

"Some one's gonna die in the ocean today," I say to my friend.

Unfortunately, I was right. A body surfer died at the Wedge, only a few hours after I uttered those words.

I have never been so worked or paddled so much, in Southern California. I had to tell the ocean several times, "you're being rude, please stop trying to drown me, already."

Sorry Mom, I know that's upsetting, but look on the bright side, I'm still here to bug you and tell you, "you are severely technologically challenged. And I love you."

Anyways, I need a vacation from my vacation so I'm not writing the blog today. Wait a second..........

I'm Looking At You Upside Down

Yeah, I'm really cute, aren't I, but I think I can
have you arrested for taking my picture, especially
if it ends up on Facebook.



"I'm looking at you upside down."


Now I'm looking at you sideways, and
you look strange. Stranger, oh no!
Mother told me not to speak to strangers,
or let them take my picture.


"Peek-A-Boo!"

The Secret Language of Butts

My husband and I have been married for 12 years, now. He has a lot of sound effects, most of which, I'm used to.

When he blows his nose, it sounds like, "honk, honk, honk, honk, honk........."

There are actually too many honks too quote. When we're in public, and he starts blowing his honker, I give him a look, so he doesn't embarrass himself.

However, he is usually oblivious to my look, and honks away. At which point, I take great joy in watching the faces of people, who are unaccustomed to his honking. And I try really hard not to laugh at their faces, but it's hard.

Then there's his breathing. I used to assume he was laughing at me, but now I always make sure to ask.

"Honey, are you laughing at me, or just breathing?" I ask.

"Just breathing," he sighs.

The best way to describe his breathing is imagine Darth Vader's breathing, with an ever so tiny hint of laughter, infused into the breath.

It doesn't even scare me anymore, unless, of course, all the lights are out, and the room is very, very dark.



But the other night he caught me off guard.

"What did you say?" I ask, unable to make out the airy word on my own.

"Um, I didn't say anything," answers Stefan.

"I heard you say something, what was it?" I ask, wondering what on Earth he could have muttered under his breath, that was so bad, he couldn't repeat it.

"No, really, I didn't say anything," says Stefan. "I farted."

"Are you sure, because it sounded like a word, to me?" I ask hesitantly.

Then, I started to wonder do butts have their own secret language, like bees? And what does that say about me, if I actually understand this Fartlish??? Because if butts can talk, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what they're saying.

Turn it off! Turn it off!

Rock Kiss

Kissing is so fun, even boring, old rocks like doing it. I hope I'm not the only one who can see the Hot Rock's (on the left) hair, eyes, nose and lips.

For those viewers who cannot see the anatomical features of Hot Rock, on the left, quick run to the store and buy an imagination. On second thought, lay in a field of grass and make shapes with the clouds.

This activity drastically improves the imagination and also wastes large quantities of time.

Hole In My Head Dixie Chicks

This picture of a rock, reminds me of a skull, which reminds of a Dixie Chicks song, "Hole In My Head," about a bad relationship, I'm so grateful, I'm not in, anymore. Phew!

We've all been there at some point or another, and my best advice, is run while you can, as soon as you see the first sign. But, bad relationships aren't all bad because they do make me appreciate the good ones.

We live in a world of opposites, and our studies here on planet Earth seem to require getting to know both sides of the story.

We can't know joy, unless we know sadness.

We can't know love, unless we know heartache.

We can't know night, unless we know day.

Get the point? Good, now listen to the song, if you choose, it's a kicker.

"I'll Be Fine"

After reading to Vinny the other night before bedtime, he says, "you should go be with daddy."

"I should?" I say. "Why?"

"Because he's your husband, and you should spend time with him," says Vinny.

"So you don't want me to stay until you fall asleep?" I ask. "Are you going to be ok?"

"I'll be fine," Vinny assures me. "I fell asleep by all myself last night."

It's funny how an 8 year old child can be so full of wisdom one moment, and full of something else, the next.

Oh, the paradox of parenting. It's enough to drive a crazy person, sane. But for the moment, I believe I will hang onto to crazy, otherwise, I might start drinking.

Crazy Dreams Carrie Underwood

I love this song, y'all, because our future is made from our dreams and aspirations.

The other day I was talking to one of my friends, and somehow what I do for a living came up in our conversation.

"I thought you were a writer?" says my friend. "I read your blog, it's entertaining."

"No, I'm trying to be a writer," I say clarifying his misconception.

Later that day, I was telling Stefan about the conversation with our friend. "That's your problem," says Stefan. "You are a writer, but you don't know it."

He went on to lecture me about, "just because you're not making money, doesn't mean you're not a writer."

And I knew he was right. I am a writer.

Hey, I like the sound of that.

To quote one of my favorite people, Rob Robb, "Believing is seeing."

"The Book Is Always Better Than the Movie"

"The book is always better than the movie," says Vinny.

"Wow!" I say, trying to wrap my head around the words coming out of the 8-year-old's mouth.

"I saw 'Harry Potter and the Goblett of Fire,' and the characters weren't as good as the ones in my head, when I read the book," says Vinny.

Maybe there are some exceptions to his statement, but I can't think of any, can you?

But if the book is just so-so, I'd rather watch the movie, than read the book. A so-so book will take forever and ever to read, whereas the movie will be over in two hours or less.

Take the case of "Twilight," the Movie, I watched it last summer, in one night! Amazing, I know.

Now "Twilight" the book, well, let's just say I've been stuck on page 220 for two weeks. Maybe I shouldn't have watched the movie, first.

And now I'm stuck with all their lame visuals, except Eduard, he's a very good visual. Vampires are so hot.

Don't even get me started on the HBO series True Blood, which I believe is based on a series of books. OMG! talk about scorching, hot vampires!

If the books are anything like the series, then there has got to be a lot more sex scenes than Twilight, which at zero, so far, won't be hard to beat...............

RIP Gidget, Taco Bell Chihuahua

Note: Sadly Gidget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, 15, passed away July 21st. Rest in peace little girl. I hope you never had to eat their food.

I have always said fast food isn't real food. Rather, fast food is concocted of various bio-chemical ingredients, in a chemistry lab, not a kitchen.

Apparently, I'm not the only person who feels this way. Check out this LOL! parody video from the Onion.com


Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature

Don't Ollie Off the Furniture

I know it's wrong to let my kid ollie off the coffee table. The mother in me should have stopped Gio's crazy business. But the skater in me was intrigued and impressed.

Though, when my husband walked into the room, I got into big, big trouble.

Sugarland's Response to Concert Cancellations

Jennifer Nettles has injured her vocal chords. Here's the video explaining how she injured her singing "muscle," the cause of Sugarland's recent spurt of concert cancellations.

A quicker response would have been helpful for fans traveling to Sugarland's concert from out of town. Especially, considering Sugarland can reach their fans instantly via facebook and twitter.

I turned on text message updates for Sugarland on both Twitter and Facebook the day of the concert. Maybe she isn't a techie, like someone I know.

But I'm sure she's doing the best she can. It's all we can ever do, even if it may not make everyone happy.

However, she can't "rock our faces off," if she's singing with "a limp." Besides, we don't want Jennifer to sing like a Bot ("robot"), now do we?

Happy healing Jennifer! Take all the time you need.

Sugarland Cancels

"I can't believe Sugarland cancelled!" exclaims Cowgirl, at Momo's, a restaurant/ bar just outside AT&T Park, San Francisco. That day, however, Momo's was mostly a bar.

"What!?" I say eavesdropping.

"Sugarland cancelled," says Cowgirl. "They aren't playing tonight."

"But that's the only reason I came," I whine.

"Me, too," says Cowgirl.

I could tell she was a little more invested in the whole Sugarland thing, by her cowboy boots and cowboy hat. And she was pissed!

We some how managed to order some food from the elbow room only, hopping bar. Then we invited ourselves to sit down with a champagne sipping, strawberry dipping, oyster eating foreigner because there weren't any empty tables.

I ate my entire Chicken Caesar Salad before getting on my NotAn Iphone to confirm Sugarland's cancellation.

I searched Google. Nothing.

I searched twitter, Something. And that's why I LOVE!!!!!! twitter. Twitter is what's happening now and it would be great if all the porno spammers would die, metaphorically speaking, anyways.

Basically, someone tweeted Sugarland cancelled and he wondered if they stayed out too late watching Harry Potter the night before.

I kept my hopes up, telling myself, "maybe it's not true." However, on Friday, the day before the concert, I was NOT motivated to go.

"I'm so over the concert," I say to Stefan.

Then Friday, I wondered to myself, "how is Jennifer Nettles' voice?"

Apparently, not well.

When we first heard the rumor, Stefan wanted to give our tickets away to our friend, but for $300 I was gonna get a show, with, our without, Sugarland. We were about to walk in when we saw a sign posted:

Sugarland will not be performing today. Jennifer Nettles lost her voice in the recording studio.

Kenny, Miranda, and Lady Antebellum will perform extended sets.

Refunds at Giants Box Office Lobby until 8:45PM prior to Kenny's set.

It took us less than 5 minutes to discuss getting a refund, and get in the refund line. As we stood in line, which wasn't long, my mind wandered over to the Emerald City.



"Hey let's go see Wicked!" I say to Stefan.

"Okay!" he says.

We caught a cab over to the Orpheum theater, debated signing up for the Wicked lottery. The lottery winner gets to purchase $25 seats, with obstructed views.

We opted for the 99 dollar tickets in the Mezzanine. Then we walked to Westfield Mall to whittle away the three hours until showtime. We prayed we wouldn't get caught in some one's crossfire, all the way there. We are not city folk, that's for sure.

"Maybe we should take a cab back," suggests Stefan, of the 10 minute walk back to the theater.

We opted for walking back to the theater, on the opposite side of the street, which for some odd reason had much less hoodlum traffic galloping about, giving onlookers free CRACK peep shows.

We made it back to the theater alive.

Wicked was even better the second time around. I only cried a few times, and it wasn't as emotionally intense for me, so, I enjoyed it much more.

In fact, I am happy Sugarland cancelled. And so is Stefan. Though, Jennifer Nettles, may want to get an understudy, for those days when her voice needs a rest.

Someday, I may even write a review of Wicked, but it's a fabulous show from the music, to the singing, to the choreography, to the sets down to the costumes. And that pretty much sums it up.

They're So Quiet When They're Sleeping

See, cats aren't much different from humans. And cats are much quieter than human children. Except, at 2 o'clock in the morning.

"Why is everyone asleep, it's the middle of the night?" yowls Nay Nay the Cat. "Wake up everybody, wake up!"

Sitting in the Orpheum Theater

Sitting in the Orpheum Theater waiting for Wicked to start. Oh well, no Sugarland, but a lot of Glinda and Elphie. Even better!

sugarland cancels concert.....currently standing in line to get a refund

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime® 6.5 or higher is required.

Sugarland Concert ATT Park San Francisco

It's Sugarland Concert Day y'all!!!!!! And I'm really excited. But I'm in a bit of a rush. The concert starts a few hours earlier than I thought. And I only know because my friend, who knows I'm an air head, checked the concert time, online.

"What time are you getting into the city?" texts my friend.

"4 or 5," I text back.

"I read online the concert starts at 5," texts my friend.

"It starts at 7," I text without bothering to check my tickets.

Lame.

Saturday morning.

"I think the concert starts at 5," texts my friend again.

"I think it starts at 7, but I will double check my tix," I text.

I run out to the car, where the tickets are so we won't forget them.

"Um, ooops my tix say 530!!!!!" I text. "Thank you!"

Gotta go get ready. I'm hoping they play this song tonight. It's my favorite.

"And, yes, Stefan we will be listening to Sugarland all the way up to the concert."

Good thing he loves me!

THROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life with an older cat includes a lot of thrown up, unResolved hairballs.




"Seriously Nay Nay the Cat, you're ingesting a little too much fiber," I say. "You only need a teaspoon of hair a day, not a forty."

But her response is always the same old, "ooo-ah, ooo-ah, ooo-ah," immediately followed by mustard, yellow vomit laced with fur, on white carpet.

A high intake of dietary fiber generally leads to healthy, regular, bowel movements, but not with Nay Nay the Cat. She usually spells out her constipation issues, in skid marks, on the carpet.

Nadia the Dog, is helpful in cleaning up the the big pieces, of either of those messes, but she isn't very detail oriented.

"Nom, nom, nom, meh love kitteh cookees," says Nadia the Dog.

Which is generally followed by shrieking to the tune of, "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, Nay Nay threw up," or "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, poo poo!"

That's my que to come in with the baby wipes and Resolve.

But for the first time in my life I was notified by email, regarding this issue.

Subject: THROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: vinny@wemail.com

To: wendy@areyoubreathing.com

Email Body: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
throw up

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas, anymore."

Play Money

In a perfect world all money would be money to play with, hence the term "play money." And everyone would always have what they need and want.

But, seriously, do the creators of play money really think someone is going to try to pass off this tiny, grey money, as real money? If yes, who on Earth do they think would buy it?
This sounds like the work of government regulation.

I can hear the play money creators now, "but honest we're not counterfeiters, this money is for kids."

"Yeah, right," say the Feds. "Money for kids to buy drugs. Now get in the car, before someone gets hurt!"

Skating Babies Evian

"Are those babies really skating," asks Vinny, laughing out loud.

"No," I say.

"How do they do that?" Vinny asks incredulously.

Click here to see how they made the video

Living Out Of A Suitcase

Vacation was fun, but it's over. At least, until our next trip.
Yes, it's good to be home. That is until I realize all the things I need to do.

Starting with unpacking.

But, if we're leaving in less than two weeks, do I really need to unpack the bags?

It Happens Sugarland ATT Park San Francisco July 18

Hey y'all does anyone remember what this Saturday is? The man and I are going to AT&T Park, the stadium where the San Francisco Giants play. But we aren't going to watch a bunch of grown men run around in tight pants, chewing their wad. No.

We're going to see SUGARLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I'm a little excited. I love this song, because let's face it, life doesn't always go the way I plan it, not that I spend a whole lot of time planning. Instead of spending all my energy trying to control or figure out what's gonna happen next, it's much easier being in the moment, observing life.

Sometimes I forget this. And when I do, I play this song and dance, "It Happens," to get me back in the moment. Plus, I like the "pssssh.........it happens," part. Lyrics like that, make me laugh out loud.

Taylor Creek Visitor Center, South Lake Tahoe

We tried to get this family portrait 5 or 6 times.
In the end,I picked the one where I look the best.




The natives are restless!
Good thing we're outside.


A man and his dog, looking onto Baldwin Beach



The elders at Taylor Creek Visitor Center


A meadow in Taylor Creek Visitor Center, noticesnow capped peaks in the distance.


Zooming in on the leftover summer snow.
No, we didn't go up to the snow. Too cold.

Stand Up Paddle Board

I ran back up to my car to put the camera away, before getting on mine and Vinny's stand up paddle board. By the time I got back, Vinny was stand up paddling on our board all by himself.

I turn my back on him for less than two minutes, and he goes and grows up on me.

And of course I didn't even get a picture.

Funny Guy

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Gio, screams. "I only have one eye! What happened to my other eye?!"

I think vacation is starting to get to him.

South Lake Tahoe

We can only hope they aren't plotting against us.


We've been on vacation, so long, I'm not sure what day I took these pictures. But I don't think it was yesterday, or the day before.

Seriously, we haven't been doing much except eating and going to the pool the last few days. We even skipped Stand Up Paddle Boarding (SUP) two days in a row.

"Honey, I think you've lost your mojo," my husband tells me.

Yeah normally, I'd be up for SUP-ing it everyday, but for some reason I've been uninspired to be gung-ho. So I'm just being and breathing. When I get home I won't even need a vacation from my vacation.

Besides, since I'm away from the Ocean, I feel like I can actually relax and not wonder if the tide is right. Because in a lake the tide is always right. But the wind, now that's another story.








Lego rock stacking competition underway. I know
the Dad looks nice, but he goes for the jugular
when it comes to winning.


Log dance.


High tide and low tide.


Gio please do not potty in the lake.


Little boats on the lakeside.
Little boats of ticky-tacky.
Little boats all the same.



Biking back from the Lake.

Vacation

I know, I know, this whole vacation thing is getting very redundant, but it's what I've been doing, day in and day out.

Besides, it reminds me of this song. And how much I loved high school, not. "Vacation" brings me back to the days when girl bands ruled. Why did those boy bands have to come along and ruin it?

Did anyone really like the boy bands? Oh yeah, droves of teeny bopper girls loved them. But the girl bands were so much better because the girls, and the guys liked them.



Girl bands provide a little something for everyone. Belinda Carlisle and Susanna Hoffs were so hot. The girls all wanted to be them, and the guys all wanted to be with them, and their girlfriends, too. The guys probably didn't say that about the boy bands, very often. Too bad.



"Vacation, all I ever wanted, Vacation happy to get away........."

Vacation All I Ever Wanted

Are you talkin' to me?


Gio: "Don't worry it's not a real shark."

Everyone else: "Yeah we know."


Gio: "Those are my two pennies!"
Me: Of course they are, you're 3.

Yay!!!!

Vinny modeling the master bedroom jacuzzi tub, he has on his jeans. I know, he's a good model. Makes me want to buy one.


I thought "Yay!!!!" was an appropriate title for today's blog and we're all really excited because we are on vacation in South Lake Tahoe.

We arrived after an 8 hour drive on Friday afternoon.

"Did we go the wrong way?" I text my friend. "It took us 8 hours to get here!"

"It only takes 5, what are you guys doing?!" texts my friend.

Exactly, what are we doing driving to Lake Tahoe the day before the 4th of July? I'll tell you what we're doing, we're doing what everyone else is doing, driving to Lake Tahoe.

And we only stopped once at In-N-Out Burger, which we easily found thanks to my NotAnIphone.

We haven't done much except, stand up paddle board everyday. Think 12 foot surfboard, each with a parent and one child on board. Swim. Nap. Eat. Read. Sleep some more.

The kids are very excited about our room, a spacious 1200 square foot condo, nestled in the middle of South Lake Tahoe. Here are some blurry pictures. My phone was tired from the drive apparently.


The kitchen/living room.



The boys' room. "Stop jumping on the bed!"