Sunday, May 31, 2009

Bono

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I swear, we do sit on the couch, and watch videos of Bono all day.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Star Trek

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Hey y'all Stefan and I had a date last night. Obviously we don't get enough of those. The thrill of sitting next my to my husband in a dark movie theater while making out, is second only to the car sex we had on our last date, three years ago.

We could use more alone time, I guess.

Anyways, we did somehow manage to watch Star Trek, even though it was hard. Star Trek was sooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooooood! I was actually surprised the movie was as good as it was. I give it a 9 out of ten. Star Trek missed getting a ten, by 3.

"Did she flunk math?" asks someone. "10-9=1."

Let me explain. There was a love triangle between Captain James T. Kirk, Lieutenant Uhura and Spock. The whole time I was like, "yes, there's gonna be a threesome! This movie is definitely getting a 10."


But noooooooooooooooooo. Lt Uhura was dedicated to Spock's pointy Vulcan ears. Besides, Captain Kirk is just a player and nothing lasting could cum out of a close encounter with him.

The 11th Star Trek movie, contained all the original characters including, Captain Kirk, Spock, Lt. Uhura, Dr. "Bones" McCoy, Sulu , Scotty and Chekov. Yes, the original characters all with new, fresh, beautiful faces.

The movie stayed true the original Star Trek series by using a time traveling, alternate reality storyline. The alternate reality storyline, allowed Leonard Nimoy, the original Spock, to cum back from the future.

"Honey, how'd they do that?" I ask.

"Baby, remember it's a movie, they can do whatever they want," explains Stefan.

"That reminds me....we're alone, so can we," I say

The movie gave the background story for how Captain Hot Kirk's crew came together, as well as how Spock and Kirk became friends.

I loved the component of their friendship the most. Sometimes the best of friends believe in us at a time when we don't believe in ourselves, and that is what friendship is all about.

"Kirk, I've never been in this ship," says Spock. "How will I ever save the day, if I can't fly the ship?"

"Spock, you can fly that ship," says Captain Kirk. "Everything is going to be fine."

And it was.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Playdate Gone Awry

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The day's lucky survivor.

It was a non-surf Saturday, and I was feeling a little sluggish and in need of outdoor body movement.

I text one of my parenting friends, "want to take the kids to the beach?"

"Yes, I'll be right over," she texts back.

We hadn't been at the beach more than five minutes, when my friend's son catches a baby squirrel.

I went to the beach to feel better, but watching Briar playing with a baby squirrel, gave me an instantaneous, "I am going to vomit," kind of feeling. Yes, I say that a lot when I'm feeling uncomfortable. ( If I've ever ridden in your car, you already know that.)

"He likes playing with the squirrel," says Briar's person proudly.

"Well I'm sure the squirrel doesn't like playing with him," I say.

Unfortunately, my kids were there. Talk about a bad influence. My kids get play dates with a murderer.

"Briar is a warrior!" shouts Vinny. "Hooray," cheer the rest of the kids.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Prince and The Princess

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The other day we had a play date with some friends we hadn't seen in a while.

"I don't remember what Theresa looks like," says Gio.

"She looks like a princess," I say.

"Oh, yes, a princess!" says Gio with the giddy, body shaking excitement, of a teenager.

Uh, oh............

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Road Trip: The Pictures

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Me in my bikini at Legoland. Yes, I have a pet
Octopus, you don't?



Dawn Patrol Trestles






Me with some flowers.


Too many legos? Not for some folks I'm related to.

Gio: Can we fix it? Cee: Let me grab my tools.



"Mommy I'm touching R2," says C3PO.



Do these zebras look bored? Man I can't wait
til this shift is over so I can Facebook," says the
Zebra.


Peter Cottontail

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

21 Reasons to A Great Road Trip

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The road trip was a success for many reasons and here are twenty-one of them.


1. The check engine light, lit up right when we hit the road.

"We're driving to the dealership," says Driver.

As we're driving to the dealership, Driver gets bright idea to call Dealership Mechanic Guy. Thank goodness for smart people.

"It's going to be a 2 hour wait," says Dealership Mechanic Guy. "If the light isn't flashing you're okay. "If the check engine light starts flashing pull over immediately."

Fortunately, Check Engine Light never flashed and turned off after four hours, like mechanic guy promised. It was all the fault of the gas lid being applied improperly.

"If you don't do me right, I get really cranky," says Gas Tank. "I can't have air in my tank, it makes me bloated.

Oddly enough Willie Nelson starts singing, "On the Road Again," and the radio wasn't even on. Weird.

2. Only one drunk person the whole trip. "Y'all have to be quiet the kids are starting to wake up," said by Adult With Kid around 12 am. Immediately, followed by more laughter for at least one more hour.

Good thing only one of us was drunk. Wait I had a contact high, so I was as good as drunk.

3. Surfers were up everyday by 4ish a.m. and surfing by 5:40 a.m.

4. One Surfer got to enjoy her coffee, while the other Surfer drank coffee and did other things.

5. All Adults With Kids slept at least 12 total hours for the entire three night stay, I think.

6. Adult Without Kids, aka Free Spirit, took naps and surfed twice everyday, and was frequently heard saying things like, "I'm so tired," and " I need a break from these kids," and "it's harder when you don't have kids, and "I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, but I don't think I'm going to have kids, ever."

"Trust me my feelings are not hurt," says Adult with Kid. "I often feel the same way."

7. Adults with kids went to Legoland twice, even though it was written in blood (we had blood in excess, some of us had it more than others) that, "we definitely aren't going to Legoland twice because that would be too much in such a short trip."

Apparently the Go Back to Legoland within 90 days FREE! tickets were burning a hole in some one's pocket.

"Ouch that was hot," says #1 Adult with Kid. "We'll only stay a few hours,"

"If we don't leave now, I'm going to vomit," says Other Adult with Kid, 45 minutes before Legoland closes.

8. Someone learned how to wrap with toilet paper.

9. The room was stocked with a lot of toilet paper, so ,"trust us you don't need to conserve it, please feel free to take out a tree or two." Immediately followed by, "did you just use a whole roll of toilet paper???"

10. Only a small amount of poo missed the toilet, considering how much crap there was. I'm not going to mention where (sh) it landed, I will just refer readers to this blog,

11. The poo smell emanating from the condo out into the breezy hallway was just cheese odor, not a direct result of #10. Phew! Or perhaps, PEW! is more appropriate.

12. Most of us only ate Mexican food once. Immediately followed by, "that food gave me gas!"

13. We didn't crash the car, but barely.

"This isn't a safe place to do a U-turn," says Adult #1.

"It's fine," says Other Adult.

"Please don't," says Adult #1. Followed by, "Ahhhhhhhhhh!, we're gonna die!"

"Good thing, she had good brakes," says Other Adult, who from then on began listening to Adult #1 the entire rest of the trip. Happy endings do come true.

14. We only pulled over on the highway one time and no one hyperventilated or had a panic attack, but barely.

"Next time, can we please get off the highway before pulling over," says Adult. "I can always buy a new bike."

15. The bikes managed to stay on the racks the entire time.

16. The surfboards managed to stay strapped to the roof, but not without commentary.

"Geez I feel like I'm in a straight jacket up here," says Surfboard #1.

"Shutup, we're going to surf Trestles," says Surfboard #2. "You're so spoiled always getting to ride in the front seat all the time. Thank goodness for strap-ons or we wouldn't even be going on this trip."


17. The kids got along because there weren't any taunting siblings on the vacation. (Siblings are currently banned to their rooms for rivalry and irritating blogging Mommy.)

18. The adults got along because there was 1 great day of surf, though it was close because that didn't happen til the last day. And we went to Legoland twice.

19. The trip was not extended another 2 days, because it was requested after the car was packed, and we were heading home.

"It's gonna be so good tomorrow, I can't believe we're leaving, now, says Surfer, followed by tearful sobbing.

20. We laughed a lot. At ourselves, and each other.


21. I came home to a clean house, one without laundry, clean, dirty and somewhere in between, strewn all over the place.

"I couldn't stand looking at laundry everywhere so I put it away the best I could," says Stefan. "I have no idea if I put it in the right place, though."

Did he rent a wife while I was gone? Could she please come back? I'm an open person.

"Did I mention your Mom was here every night?" says Stefan. "I don't know what she did.......oh yeah, she was on the computer the entire time."

Never mind.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Asleep in the Doorway

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On the way home from school, Gio fell asleep in the car.

"Gio wake up we're home," I say.

"Huh, okay," says Gio.

"Can you walk inside by yourself?" I ask.

"Uh, huh," Gio answers groggily.

He staggers through the garage into the house or so I thought. When I came in I found him asleep in the doorway, where he slept for over an hour.

He gets it from me. I do the same thing after a long day's surf.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Crush Me

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I was standing in line at Costco, when I suddenly recognize the person standing in front of me.

"It's Robin Williams!" I shout to myself.

Wait.....No, but he looks so familiar. I know that face.

A second passes and I realize, "hey that's Bill......."

OMG! Is that Bill? I start feeling nervous, My heart starts to beat a little faster and my mouth is dry.

Could it really be him after all these years? As May Be Bill pulls out his Costco Card I attempt to get a look at his name. No luck. Then May Be Bill pulls out his ATM card. And there was yet another lost chance to see his name.

He suspiciously glances over his shoulder, while covering up the keypad as he punched in his pin.

"Really officer I just neeeeed to know if his first name is Bill!" I explain as they throw me in jail and drop off the children at protective services.

"Honestly, I wasn't attempting to steal his identity," I plead. "Why would I want to be 50 something-year-old man?"

Then I felt this deep urge to blurt out, "Is your name Bill?"

But the words would not come out of my mouth. My pulse racing. My heart pounding. My voice mute. All the while, a flock of dizziness circles my head.

Bill was my first crush when I was very young, probably 5ish. He lived across the street. He rode a motorcycle and played a guitar. He was so cute and I adored him.

In those days my favorite outing was going to get gas with my Mom. Why? Because Bill worked at the gas station, of course!

Who knew Costco lines could be time travelling machines, or better yet flashback inducing drugs. I had time traveled all the way back to my very first crush, and it felt great. And exactly like the other 1000s of crushes I've had since.

Ain't crush adoration grand?

Saturday, May 23, 2009

"Mommy Is So Nice To Me........"

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My secret to keeping the TV off
is, out of sight out of mind. It's works
the same with poptarts.


"Did you watch TV today," Stefan asks Gio.

"Are you kidding me?!" I pipe in. "We don't have time for TV. Besides, I save TV for you to give to the kids. I do that for you, ya know."

"Mommy is so nice to me, she let's me show you TV," says Stefan the Dad.

Friday, May 22, 2009

I'm Taking the Day Off Phew!

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Note: Giving up control is hard, but at least it's a day off. Everyone please welcome my BFF Jenn, today's guest blogger--Wendy


By Jennifer Mench

When we first moved here, the day’s activities were limited to school, classes, the Aquarium or the local kid’s museum. All of these were loads of fun. But it was just the two of us…me and the boy, Cee. I sometimes felt my “fun factor” was lacking.

Then we met Wendy. And her boys. And it was good. There were GREAT adventures to be had…we just hadn't had them yet!

So, off to Carmel beaches, hikes to hidden places, collecting rocks and lost golf balls to take home to Daddy. There are long bike rides to hike dunes, and playgrounds we have to hike a mile to reach. We LOVE all of our adventures, and we LOVE our new friends.



Wendy and I are like sisters separated at birth. (Mom, you got some splainin’ to do!) Gio adores Cee. Cee adores Vinnie (the boy-crush always moves up doesn’t it?). And when they get together they play so well together.

Wendy and I play well together, too. She makes me exercise (which I try to avoid like I would battery acid offered to me in a cup), and I make her laugh.

Is that a fair trade? I hope so. And even though she keeps threatening to teach me to surf (again with the exercise), I still love her.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Road Trip

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Today my BFFs and I are going on a road trip. Vinny is going to miss out on the trip because of school, but Gio is coming.

It's a surf/amusement park trip.

The plan is get up at 4:30 am, ride our bikes to the beach, surf and be back by 8ish. Just in time for some fun play time with the kids.

I usually hit the surf without coffee because I'm always sneaking out before everyone wakes up. And the only way to sneak out before everyone wakes up, is not to wake them up by making coffee.

I tried to explain this to my friend whose coming along for the surf.

"Can you just buy some bottled caffeine, and drink it on the way to the beach?" I plead.

I had already asked her to fore go caffeine all together, but she nearly freaked out.

"I'm putting my foot down," says my surfing BFF. "I deserve coffee and I'm going to have it."

"Um, nurse would you mind hooking up my friend to the caffeine drip system?" I ask.

"Not at all," says the nurse. "I think I can hook her up, so as her alarm goes off at 4:30 AM, she'll get a 500 milligram dose. Best of all, it's silent."

I wonder if there are any Mormons Moms that surf?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

American Idol Kris Allen Wins

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When I told, my husband and my son, "Kris Allen is the new American Idol," they didn't believe me.

"No way!" says Vinny. "That guy was killing me."

"You're putting me on," states my husband.

I wrote my Facebook Friend:
Thanks!!!!! My son is in shock and my husband doesn't believe me. lol They don't get the whole teenage girl voter thing.


My Facebook Friends wrote back:

That's exactly what it is- all the little girls voted for Kris.


I feel like we've ruined your family's Christmas!


I had a feeling Kris Allen would be the new American Idol and he is. Even though Adam is better overall. Better singer, better performer.

Kris Allen is better husband material, than Adam. Though I don't know the voter make up profile, I'm guessing there are a lot of young girls voting. And in my opinion, subconsciously anyways, they are voting for the type of person they'd like to date, and eventually marry.

As I commented on Facebook:
He does seem very nice and he'd probably be fine serenading outside some girl's window.


It was a fun season, especially because I shared it with my Facebook Friends. And double blogging isn't so bad after all.

Ocean's Night

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My kind of Ocean Night. Unidentified Surfer.

Age wise I fall into Gen X, but really I'm a Gen Y'er in behavior. I mean I blog my entire personal life to the world and then some, I tweet, I have more Facebook Friends than real world friends and most importantly, I'm a slacker Mom.

I've sworn off giving my kids birthday parties, because they are way too much work. But if I had a sister, I would totally make her throw my kids' names on the invites to her own children's parties. Yes, she'd be all goody goody, and I'd be all, "baa baa baa." Or do sheep say, "maa maa maa?" See what I mean? With it Moms know the answer, without having to ask.

Last night, I actually paid off my kids to leave a school function. Vinny's school was concurrently, running an Ocean's Night and a book fair. Seems like a great way to sell books to me, too.

I didn't have the intention of buying off my kids, like some mobster Mommy, things just worked out in my favor.

I was even planning on staying an entire hour, but when we hit the first activity area in the gym I nearly fainted. I get overstimulated very quickly, and I was overwhelmed by the amount of people crowded in the tiny room. I'm talking elbow room, y'all.

Then people started asking me about the contest, and I'm thinking to myself I should have printed and worn the "No I Didn't Win," t-shirt. I was so overwhelmed with anxiety and claustrophobia I couldn't even say, "I'm over that.....if you need more information, please refer to www.areyoubreathing.com May 17."

I should have at least printed a t-shirt that said that......oh well.

So after the claustrophobia learning area, we hit the book fair. It made sense, because at that point I was looking for a way out, fast.

"Books?" I say. "You want books, of course, you can have books," I tell the boys.

I didn't even say, "after we buy books, we're outta here." I played it cool. I knew I didn't have to say it, because lady luck was playing straight into my hand.

After our purchase, we made our way down to the lower playground for 10 minutes, a playground devoid of anything educational (fun may be completely under rated by some educational administrators). The boys played happily, while learning no-thing.

Then I roped them in with, "time to read your new books." And we shuttled off to the car without a single complaint. Goodbye, Ocean's Night, goodbye.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

American Idol Final 2 Adam Lambert Kris Allen

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What's going on? For the first time, I'm watching American Idol in real time, not Tivo time.

I guess I'm not mad at America for not supporting my sister Allison. I really thought the final would come down to Adam and Allison. I'm over it. I never stay mad for very long, good thing for Stefan. Life is too short to stay angry, and it's like taking a poison pill and expecting it to kill the other person.

So tonight, it comes down to Adam Lambert and Kris Allen.

Round 1

Adam sang, "Mad World," and in Vinny's words, "he's good. Oh yeah, this guy's the best. I hope he wins."

Yeah, now I'm totally biased, if my son likes Adam, well, I like him, too. I personally see Adam connecting to the music tonight, something I thought he'd been lacking up to this point.

Kris Allen sang, "Ain't No Sunshine," while playing the piano. He has the props (piano), but he ain't got the mojo. He's a fine singer, but a bit boring.

Round 2

Adam performs Sam Cooke's, "Change Is Gonna Come."

"Oh he is good!" says Vinny. "Woooooooohoooooooo! I'm definitely going to buy his album."

He nailed this song. And he connected to it emotionally. Adam is on fire, fo shizzle.

Kris singing, "What's Going On," got the job done, but I didn't get an erector pilli muscular contraction, I mean goose bumps, for you non-anatomists.

"This guy's ok, but not that good," says Vinny.

Round 3

Adam and Kris are both singing a song, "No Boundaries," co-written by 4th and newcomer judge Kara. I liked it, and Adam sang the song different than he normally sings. And I felt inspired. He gets a B+.

Kris singing the same song, made me want the song to end, NOW!

"Nah I don't like this....this guy is definitely not gonna win. It's killin' me........"

Adam 3 for 3.

Kris 0 for 3.

We predict America's new Idol is (drum roll, please) Adam Lambert because in Vinny's words, and I concur, "he's awesome!"

As for Carrie Underwood, I hope they can't take away her Idol trophy based on tonight's performance. Though she got better on the 2nd half of the song, til she hit the chorus, where she seemed to have pitch problems. Maybe she's ill?

"Why is Carrie Underwear singing? asks Vinny.

Thank You for the Million Dollars

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I got so many birthday wishes yesterday. By phone, email, facebook, even in person in the real world, that was so weird.

I just want to say Thank You! to everyone who participated in my birthday celebration. Everyone made it so fun for me, I didn't even mind going to work!!!!

I would especially like to say thanks for all the gifts, especially the anonymous gift of one million dollars. The card said it was for being such a great me. All I can ever be is me. It takes so much energy to pretend to be someone I'm not, just ask any actress how exhausting her work is............

Now for tonight, does anyone have any idea who is going to be the next Idol????? Leave it in the comment section. I will be watching American Idol tonight if I survive a night on the Ocean, and I'm not talking about surfing here.



The view from my birthday hike.
Thanks J!

Monday, May 18, 2009

"Happy Birthday Tina Fey"

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These bonfires on the beach remind me
of candles on a birthday cake.


"Happy Birthday to me..........and Tina Fey."

"Happy Birthday to me..........and Tina Fey."

Feel free to wish me a happy birthday, even if you read this a few days from now. I celebrate all month long. So as long as you send me birthday wishes within the month of May, it's all good.

For anyone who forgets and June comes along when you finally remember, "Oh my it was Wendy's birthday last month," I will consider extending my birthday celebration one month for your convenience. Yeah, I'm nice like that. :-)

By the way, I already have quite a few birthday wishes from my Facebook Friends, oh the joys of social networking.

"Happy Birthday to me..........and Tina Fey."

"Happy Birthday to me..........and Tina Fey."

Sunday, May 17, 2009

No I didn't win.......

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Today's schedule for the contest promises to be action packed.

Hey y'all there are still great times to be had at the Sunshine Freestyle Surfabout 29 today, just not for me.

And I'm totally okay with it. I just didn't catch the right waves and someone else did. I was a half a point away from advancing to the final. Someone else caught the waves she needed and good on her. If someone has to win then there's always going to be a few losers. Today I'm that loser.

Am I a little sad? Of course. It's hard knowing if I had just gotten a few open faced waves instead of closeouts, I would have breezed into the final. But I was sitting in the wrong spot.

On the other hand, while I am a bit disappointed, I'm also a lot of happy. There were a lot of young girls and women charging hard this year. I'm proud of each and everyone of them. There used to only be four surfer girls back in the day, it's nice to have more estrogen in the water.

I also got to hang out with my husband, my Mom and my BFFs and that was fun, and filled with laughter and a lot of, "Mom I can't talk about that right now, I'm trying to focus."

The weather was off the charts, and probably the best weather the Sunshine Freestyle Surfabout has ever seen.

And Stefan surfed a lot, so it's good to see him back in the water. I get tired of hearing guys ask, "where's your husband." All the while I know they are wondering if I hog all the surf time, because they don't know sometimes he gets lazy about his surfing. Especially when it's cold....

I just wanted to let everyone know how I did, because it was a lot cheaper than printing a t-shirt that said, "No I didn't win this year."

Besides that shirt probably would have made some people feel uncomfortable, and I would never want to make people go outside their comfort zone now would I? Nope, not little ole me.

Oh and did I mention I'm going on a little surf trip to my favorite surf spot with my BFFs, and were gonna hit Legoland with our boys???? And no Bee, that doesn't mean you can bring Briar.

One more thing, it's my birthday tomorrow and if you've ever wanted to leave a comment, but didn't tomorrow would be a great day to start................I love receiving Happy Birthday Wishes, as much as I enjoy giving them. (NOte:You can also write them on my Facebook Wall as well, or both if you're feeling really crazy.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Sunshine Freestyle Surfabout 29 is Today and Tomorrow

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Hey y'all I am going to be at the Sunshine Freestyle Surfabout, held at 11th street, today and tomorrow. I wanted to let everyone know there is are free surf lessons for children under 12 at 2pm today at Carmel Beach. Here is the info posted by my Facebook Friend Noah Greenberg, surf instructor extraordinaire:

The Third Annual Menehune Learn To Surf Festival will be held at 2:00 on Sat May 16th that's tomorrow. Any one under 12 years old can come down and get a free surf lesson. We will provide the boards and wetsuits, wetsuits may run out so bring one if you got one. Any one 12 or over that can come down and help volunteers are needed. Located at the far south end of Carmel Beach look for the black pop up tent.


If you can't make it to the beach today Noah is available for private surf lessons. His number is 831-915-4065.

Also the memorial bench for Alex Robbins and Ryan Field, to young and precious surfers who passed in 2006, is going to be unveiled at the Surfabout this weekend. I will try to post the time once I get to the beach.

And I just went outside the weather is awesome. So remember to apply sunscreen today.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Look At My Nails Y'all!

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I know I didn't do a pro job on my nails or anything. But I'm really proud of myself for removing the last application of polish, before it got to the totally tacky phase, aka chips and bumps.

Not only did I remove the old polish, , but I immediately applied a fresh new coat or four. One or two coats is never enough. More is better.

"Is she still talking about her nails?" wonders someone on the Internet.

Maybe, but back to my nails. Three or four coats of polish last longer. And the fumes give me a good head rush. Stefan, however, doesn't care for any nail product odors.

"What is that smell!" he complains.

"Oh it's just me gettin' my girl on," I say.

"Well, it stinks!" Stefan says.

"I love you, too, honey," I say. "And my nails are going to look great, if you don't look closely."

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Watch Out for Flying Clothes.

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"Ahhhhhhhh! Get it off me now!"

The other morning Gio, Nadia the Dog, and I were in the bathroom. Without looking at Nadia the Dog, I could feel something was upsetting her.

However, she is usually upset about something. That something can range from someone almost stepping on her, to the wind blowing too hard, and rattling the doors inside the house.

"Yipes!" says Nadia the Dog.

I looked down to assess her current issue. Surprisingly I think this time she had a real reason to be upset. She had Gio's pajama top draped over her head.

"This pajama top is freaking me out!" yipes Nadia the Dog. "Get if off, please," she begs.

"Why does Nadia have your pajama top on of her head?" I ask Gio.

"Because I put it there," says Gio, waving his hands all about to describe the flinging action.

"Of course," I say. "She doesn't look like she likes it. I think she needs help."

"Oh, let me take it off," says Gio.

And he did.

"Thank you for saving me from that perilous situation," says Nadia the Dog to Gio. "But weren't you the one that got me into that mess in the first place?"

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

American Idol Top 3 Results

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I wasn't going to watch American Idol this week. But after reading my Facebook Friends' American Idol commentary, I couldn't resist. I didn't watch it much American Idol because it was so bad.

"Baboop, baboop, baboop," says the Tivo remote.

Danny Gokey went home tonight. Thank goodness. I couldn't finish either of his performances. Though I thought he did a nice job channeling the movie, Ghost.

I can say the same for Adam. I couldn't watch either song all the way through. I really love U2's "One," but not with Adam doing the same old, old.

Kris Allen's first song was not so good. But I have got to go with my Facebook Friend on Kris's second song.

Kris sang Kanye's Heartless and he killed it!! It was awesome. I think he totally deserved to stay


That being said, Kris has gotten better almost every week. Let's just crown him Idol now, and be done with all this silliness. For such a rebel or whatever he is, Adam is soooooooooo boring. I, personally, can't stand watching him anymore.

American Idol Top #3 Recap

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Hey there American Idol fans! I just got an email from the one person who was apparently reading my American Idol blog:

Good morning I'm waiting for the American Idol Results I look forward to them the morning after the show


My Response:
The results are I'm over it and I heard it wasn't any good. :-)


So unless my Facebook Friends have anything other to say than American Idol, "sucked," I'm finished with this season.

For further explanation of my lack of commitment click here.

The Sun

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Gio taking his frustrations out on an
innocent sand dune.


"Gio it looks like you got sunburned today," I say.

"Awwwww! I must have touched the sun..... Thats it! Im never talking to the sun again!

I know he's my son and all, but I hope he doesn't expect me to stop talking to the sun, too. Sunshine is one thing I'm not willing to give up, not even for my kids.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Baby Daddy

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Baby Daddy is so hot!

Seriously, folks this picture says it all. Best Dad in the Universe! And he's an awesome partner in life, too. He makes me laugh and he lets me cry.

I don't think too many people could handle being married to me. I'm fairly intense, even if it only takes a few things to keep me happy. And he is always willing to grow and change with me.

Plus, I love a man who snores in church. It's so sexy.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Post Mama's Day

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Vinny wrestling with an alligator.


Goddess was kind to me this Mothers Day. Not only did I not have to go to church, but I got to surf twice.

We went to the beach around 11ish. Stefan set up a tent with the boys while I went out for my first session. It was so fun!

Then after my surf, Stefan went for a surf and he had fun too! OMG!

After he surfed, he took Vinny for a surf. Too bad I didn't go get my camera until the end of Vinny's session, when he was too tired to stand up anymore. Surfing is a lot of work and takes a lot of energy.

Did I mention surfing is fun?!

Then we were going to hook up with my Mom, or so we thought. But she didn't answer her phone or call us back, ever. So, I went surfing again! Yay!

Glad I didn't wait around for her to not call. I'd be having abandonement issues and crying on the blog, right now.

As she says, and I quote, "I have a life."

Here are some pictures, enjoy!


Yeah Bee, I'm really rubbing it in.
Good thing you know I love you.






Vinny on board.


Getting ready to pop up.


Gio didn't surf, but he had plenty of commentary.


I wasn't the only Mama enjoying the beach.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy MILF Day

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Wildflowers at Fort Ord Dunes State Park.
OMG! They match my aura.


Everyone knows what a MILF is nowadays, right?

"Ehem, I think you mean MILK, Wendy," says someone on the Internet. "Mothers I Like to....wait, aren't you lactose intolerant?"

Sounds like at least one person on the Internet could use some help. And I love to help.

MILF stands for Moms I Like to Facebook.

I can't take credit for that one, unfortunately, but I can claim the MILF who came up with it as, well, a MILF.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Hot Mamas! Remember the best way to get what you want is to ask for it. I put in my request, everyday.

Enjoy the wildflowers! I'll see y'all on Facebook!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Backfire

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These pictures are from are trip to Lake Tahoe last summer. When we got our timeshare, we were like, "great no surfing what on Earth are we going to do in Lake Tahoe?"

But it turns out, we had a great time. We went river rafting, swimming, stand up paddle boarding (I could not even believe how off the charts fun that was!) and of course fishing, complete with fishing licenses for Stefan and I.

However, every time we went fishing we didn't catch any fish. Which is fine, because we had money for food and we weren't relying on fish for dinner.

So while no one on the trip ever caught a fish, I was the only one who managed to lose a fish.

My favorite part of fishing is casting. The lake the boys are fishing in the pictures was for kids 16 and under. It was hot and there wasn't much to do. So every now and then, out of sheer boredom, I'd grab Gio's fishing pole, and cast his line, which had a plastic fish attached to the end of it.

Apparently I got a bit carried away with my casting because on one cast, the plastic fish, Gio's beloved plastic fish, came off the line and went "plop" in the lake.

"Mommy got get my fish!" exclaims Gio.

He didn't say please, but I couldn't really insist on manners in an emergency like this. Not one I was so obviously and completely responsible for, anyways.

"Baby, Mommy can't go get the fish, because this isn't a swimming kind of lake," I say in my defense, as well as horror. The thought of sticking my toe in that water was freaking me inside out.

"Well, then go to time out," says Gio.


Friday, May 8, 2009

Taize in Monterey

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Tonight from 7:30 to 8:30 I'm going to Taize. I always try talk my friends into going with me. Stefan's gone once. He didn't even fall asleep. Good thing because his loud snoring would have been very disruptive.

Another time I took Vinny, but he actually fell asleep. I had to carry him out of there. At least he didn't snore.

Then there was the time I went with a friend, and he nearly exposed his crack addicted behind to the entire Taize congregation.

Say no to crack, use a belt. Getting off drugs really can be as easy as pulling up your pants.

I've been trying to talk my J Dub (Jehovah's Witness) friend into going.

"Come to taize with me, please," I ask her.

"What is it?" she asks suspiciously while handing me some J Dub literature.

"It's a special ecumenical candlelight spiritual service with chanting," I say peacefully.

"Chanting?" she asks. "No way! That sounds weird."

"It's really just beautiful singing of prayers and lines from scripture. It's not weird, really it's amazing. The repetition of of prayer through song induces a peaceful, spiritual state."

I didn't want to tell her some people think J Dubs are odd. Or that when the J Dubs come a knocking on people's doors they hide and pretend they aren't home. I didn't want to hurt her J Dub feelings.

Besides, tonight might be a little weird. They are doing some sort of healing of service complete with healing stations. Goddess forbid they do something strange such as, laying on of hands. Energy work, my favorite!

I'm praying for a sexual healing myself. One that involves sex at least once a day, though twice a day would be better, at least in the summer. Even I can compromise. I just hope I don't have to write my healing request on a piece of paper................one can only hope.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Believing is Seeing

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Feeling a little tired this a.m. It must be all the double blog posting I've done the last two days. What I don't do for my friends. Nothing. At least I know it's appreciated.


Today, since I'm feeling uninspired I've decided to focus on my vision for the blog. Here it is: 6 million page views per month for areyoubreathing.com. That's a start anyways.


See I have this other vision. Buy a house at the Ranch. Ya know that exclusive community with some of California's best waves that can't be surfed unless you live there or boat in. Well, I don't have a boat. I don't want a boat.


I want the mansion at the Ranch. And everyone can help me with this vision if they feel inspired. Here's how: Envision yourself visiting me there. Do this once a day. Is that easy or what.


Also, if you'd like a little help with your vision write it in the comment section and I will hold it in my mind's eye. Maybe we could also envision world peace, and global orgasm for good measure.


Word of the day. Visualize

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

American Idol Top 4 Season 8 Results Goodbye Allison

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Well, tonight, sadly, Allison Iraheta is sent home. I can only blame myself. Why, oh, why didn't I vote? (I'll tell you why. I don't want American Idol spamming me with text messages) And exactly who is voting anyways, deaf hormone driven teenage girls? What happened to support your sister, Sister?

I'm so disgusted I may not finish the season. The fact that the best performer from last night's show is gone, goes against all the moral fiber in my body.

Here's what my facebook friend had to say about Allison leaving:

I am so sad about Allison, too Wendy! Wait till you see her sing at the end- she was amazing!!!


I'll have to wait a few more hours to hear Allison sing, but I'm sure it will be worth the wait. And I'm going to be one of the first ones to buy her album, since I feel a little guilty about not voting. People like me, who don't vote, are the reason talented Idol contestants get sent home.

My last comment on Facebook went something like:

I hope she blows up bigger than Carrie Underwood.

Pickles

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My Mom's favorite comic strip is "Pickles."

"Pickles is so funny," says my Mom. "It's the last comic I read. I save the best for last."

Which totally goes against her lifelong habit of reading the end of the book first. Parents are unpredictable aren't they?

The main characters, Earl and Opal Pickles, are grandparents. Gee, I wonder why she likes it? Maybe, she relates. Recently, the comic strip has been chronicling blogging and now twitter.

Lately, for those folks who don't read the comments, my Mom has been urging all of us to read Pickles.

Today's Pickles cartoon is about blogging and very very funny. Us older people can appreciate the humor.


Check Pickles cartoon. Opal is learning about tweeting.


I thought I'd make it easier for everyone to do what my Mom says by posting the comic strip on the blog. Trust me if we all do what she says life will be much easier.

Wow, did I just say that out loud? Oh well, it's better than writing it.

Technology makes sharing simple, and it's also going to please my Mom. I hope she thinks this is a good Mother's day present. :-)

I wonder if I'm legally embedding Pickles on my blog? If not, I may be posting from prison in a few days. Oh well, it will make a great blog.





Tuesday, May 5, 2009

American Idol Top 4 Recap Season 8

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It's Rock Night on American Idol, and I'm wondering if Adam Lambert has been practicing for this night, all along. Tonight's host Slash and, of course, his hair, oh my! I'm not sure what it is about Slash, formerly of Guns N Roses, currently of Velvet Revolver, but I have always had a thing for him? Must be his aura. The aura gets me every time, darn it.

Elvis performs Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love," one of my favorite songs ever. Adam gave a great sounding, but emotionally disconnected performance. And he didn't make the song his own. Oh well, at least he's having fun with this whole Elvis thing. And according to my research, Elvis died in 1977, and Adam was born in 1982. Therefore, Adam could be the reincarnation of Elvis. But where's the pelvis?

Allison Iraheta performs Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby." "Cry Baby" is not my favorite Joplin song. Not only did Allison own the song, but her performance surpasses Joplin's by miles, probably due to Allison's purity and sobriety. Awesome!!!!!! The best tonight.


Listening to: Danny and Kris's duet,"Renegade." Um, now I know why Ryan explained how the dress rehearsal was interrupted: to imply a cause for their less than stellar duet. Kris is not on fire tonight. Danny was a little better on the duet.

Kris Allen sings the Beatles' "Come Together," and fell apart in a boy band sort of way, on the second half of the song. I have to admit I'm biased because I started reading my Facebook Friend's commentary and there were a lot of negatives said about Kris.

Kris is my choice to go too!



I hope my Facebook Friends are right, I hope Kris goes home. He doesn't have the talent the other three have.

Danny Gokey sings Aerosmith's "Dream On," yeah you guessed it, another favorite of mine. And I'm going with Danny ruined the song. Yikes! I think he's in serious trouble. I thought Kris was going home until I heard Danny. Wow, that was bad.

Listening to: Allison and Adam's duet of "Slow Ride." Adam just grabbed his junk! (Is that legal? Doesn't he know millions are watching?) Now there's a little modern version of Pelvis by Elvis. Adam and Allison were awesome, though Allsion had a shaky start on the vocals. Naughty, naughty, Adam.

My top two are Adam and Allison. Allison's performance was from the heart, while Adam's reminds me a little of masturbation. And I have nothing against, masturbation, but it's a little lonely. I have Danny and Kris at the bottom. Danny performed better in the duet, and that might help him with the votes.

Sea Otters Play Basketball

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Next time I'm harassed by a sea otter while surfing, I'm going to pass her a basketball and point to the hoop.

Monday, May 4, 2009

"Does This Board Make My Butt Look Big?"

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This video could also be called, "Is My Butt Too Big for This Board," or "Does This Board Make My Butt Look Big?" It isn't that my friend's butt is big, it's just that the board is very, very small.

Seriously, though one thing I have to say about all of my friends is this: they all make me laugh. I hope I do the same for them because in life we have two choices we can laugh or we can cry. I know I do a lot of both, but it's usually the laughter that gets me through the crying...................

I love y'all!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Angels Are Real 3

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Gio painted this picture at school. As I was studying it, I noticed an angel, in the upper, middle portion of the picture.

"Gio, look, I think that's you're guardian angel," I say.

"What does a guardian angel do?" asks Gio, not sure if a guardian angel is a good thing to have.

"A guardian angel keeps you safe," I say.

"Good," says Gio.

As I gazed at his painting I wondered if it is his guardian angel. So far he's saved my life, and one other. Gio kept me from going surfing at a spot where there happened to be a shark attack exactly when I would have been there.

Here's how he saved my life.......

He grabbed a shark book, one with a Great White Shark jumping out of the water, with its mouth wide open, while hysterically screaming, "shark!"


I think she's smiling for the camera. Yikes!

I had been having a sharky feeling at this spot for a few weeks. So much so that I had paddled in not one, not two, but three times, in a two week period. As a rule, surfers don't paddle in. It isn't cool. Surfers are the epitome of cool. At least we like to think we are.

Gio's hysterical shark screaming, hit a nerve. A nerve I'm glad I recognized and listened to.

"Nope, I'm not surfing today, no way no how," I say.

Within a few hours, I got a call there had been a shark attack at Marina Beach. Thanks Gio!

Then, the other day, Gio saved Briar's life.

"Would you ever see Briar again, if he gets hit by a car?" Gio asks my friend as we are riding bikes.

My friend was pulling the trailer that contained Gio, and Briar secure in his Pet Pak, or so we thought.

A few minutes later Gio's screaming, "Briar's getting out!"

Somehow, Briar managed to escape from the zipped Pet Pak. He started heading for the road, as a very large truck was approaching at 50 mph. I think I blocked Briar with my bike, because he suddenly he switched directions, and ran into a motor vehicle free field.

"Phew!"

I believe in angels. I believe they help us everyday, all day. The trick is listening to our angels, and not analyzing the information. All we need to do is be. Being, as opposed to doing, allows divine inspiration to flow through us. What a joy it is to have a three year old for a role model. Thanks Gio!


Saturday, May 2, 2009

"Other Boys Wear Pink"

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It's hard to resist the clothes at Costco. Sometimes, it's as if they are calling me by name, "Wendy come hither and give us a looksie, won't you sweets?"

Mental note: Find medication to silence the clothing voices at Costco. I hear I can buy said medicine at Old Navy, with any $100 clothing purchase.

I do resist buying the Costco Mom jeans, now. But in the past, when I didn't even have kids, I couldn't resist. Please, don't tell anyone. Now, if only I could get my husband off the Dad jeans at Costco.

"But I like the 12 dollar jeans," says Stefan.

When it comes to buying clothing at Costco, I try to restrict my purchases to socks and pajamas. Just the other day, I picked up a pink pj top.

"Is that your pink shirt?" asks Vinny, while we are standing in line, waiting to check out.

"No, I bought it for you," I tease.

"Well, I'm not going to wear it," he answers with a grimace.

"Fine, I'll keep it for myself, if you don't like it," I say.

He rolls his eyes.

We are close enough in size to pull off a clothes swap, especially if he wears something a bit larger and I go smaller. Just the other night, I wore his jacket in a pinch. I had forgotten mine.

The sleeves were a little short, it didn't smell good, and I'm not even going into the nasty food stains, but it was realllllllly ca-ca-ca-cold. Too bad it wasn't pink.....

The bagger happened to be eavesdropping in, on our conversation. She specifically took interest in Vinny's pink clothing protest.

"Boys can wear pink," pipes in the bagger. "It's very stylish. My grandson wears pink and loves it!"

"Other boys wear pink," answers Vinny.

I know the bagger was trying to help me get my son to, at least, try the pink shirt. If she only knew I was teasing him, I'm sure I'm the one who would have been getting the lecture.

Friday, May 1, 2009

H1N1 Influenza A

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"Stop coughing on me!" says Vinny. "Gio's been coughing a lot. I think he may have picked up the swine flu."

And this proves a little bit of education, can go the wrong way.

"Did they talk about swine flu at school?" I ask.

"Yeah," says Vinny.

"What did they say?" I ask.

"I don't remember, that was a long time ago," Vinny says.

Two days ago is a long time for a seven year old I suppose.

Yet, even my kid, who seems oblivious to just about everything of concern, such as flushing the toilet and washing his hands, is paranoid about the swine flu. Oooops, I mean H1N1 Influenza A, the old technical name for swine flu, is back in style.

The name, H1N1 Influenza A, was adopted by the World Health Organization to save the lives of pigs. The swine flu name association was causing countries to ban pork and call for the murder of innocent pigs. The spread of H1N1 Influenza A, formerly known as swine flu, has nothing to do with pigs.

H1N1 is a combination of a pig, bird and human flu virus, but cannot be contracted by eating pork, that's what they are saying today, anyways.

"Phew!" say the pigs. "That was a close one."
 
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