Piggyback Ride

I guess Gio has upgraded his sand dune flight ticket from business to first class.

"Hey, this is fun!" shouts Gio.

"Yeah, for you!" retorts Belinda.

All I can say is thank goodness I have a friend to do this when my husband isn't around. No way would I carry my son up this ginormous sand dune, on my back. And believe me, he knows it.

"Only Daddy and Belinda give piggyback rides, Mommy doesn't," says Gio.

And that's why "it takes a village to raise a child." Because Mommy doesn't give piggyback rides.

It may also be the reason Belinda is more fit, than I. After all, she is always the one pulling the bike trailer, dragging the kid up the sand dune, and in this case, giving the kid a piggyback ride. Yes, getting in shape, is just one, of the many benefits of being my friend.

Tomorrow's blog: The 1000s of Benefits of Being My Friend..............

"I'll Be Fine"

After reading to Vinny the other night before bedtime, he says, "you should go be with daddy."

"I should?" I say. "Why?"

"Because he's your husband, and you should spend time with him," says Vinny.

"So you don't want me to stay until you fall asleep?" I ask. "Are you going to be ok?"

"I'll be fine," Vinny assures me. "I fell asleep by all myself last night."

It's funny how an 8 year old child can be so full of wisdom one moment, and full of something else, the next.

Oh, the paradox of parenting. It's enough to drive a crazy person, sane. But for the moment, I believe I will hang onto to crazy, otherwise, I might start drinking.

Don't Ollie Off the Furniture

I know it's wrong to let my kid ollie off the coffee table. The mother in me should have stopped Gio's crazy business. But the skater in me was intrigued and impressed.

Though, when my husband walked into the room, I got into big, big trouble.

They're So Quiet When They're Sleeping

See, cats aren't much different from humans. And cats are much quieter than human children. Except, at 2 o'clock in the morning.

"Why is everyone asleep, it's the middle of the night?" yowls Nay Nay the Cat. "Wake up everybody, wake up!"

THROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life with an older cat includes a lot of thrown up, unResolved hairballs.




"Seriously Nay Nay the Cat, you're ingesting a little too much fiber," I say. "You only need a teaspoon of hair a day, not a forty."

But her response is always the same old, "ooo-ah, ooo-ah, ooo-ah," immediately followed by mustard, yellow vomit laced with fur, on white carpet.

A high intake of dietary fiber generally leads to healthy, regular, bowel movements, but not with Nay Nay the Cat. She usually spells out her constipation issues, in skid marks, on the carpet.

Nadia the Dog, is helpful in cleaning up the the big pieces, of either of those messes, but she isn't very detail oriented.

"Nom, nom, nom, meh love kitteh cookees," says Nadia the Dog.

Which is generally followed by shrieking to the tune of, "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, Nay Nay threw up," or "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, poo poo!"

That's my que to come in with the baby wipes and Resolve.

But for the first time in my life I was notified by email, regarding this issue.

Subject: THROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: vinny@wemail.com

To: wendy@areyoubreathing.com

Email Body: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
throw up

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas, anymore."

Play Money

In a perfect world all money would be money to play with, hence the term "play money." And everyone would always have what they need and want.

But, seriously, do the creators of play money really think someone is going to try to pass off this tiny, grey money, as real money? If yes, who on Earth do they think would buy it?
This sounds like the work of government regulation.

I can hear the play money creators now, "but honest we're not counterfeiters, this money is for kids."

"Yeah, right," say the Feds. "Money for kids to buy drugs. Now get in the car, before someone gets hurt!"

Thank You

Though writing a blog everyday, takes a lot of dedication or obsession, I love it. Except on the days I don't love it. Those days go something like this: I'm exhausted I have nothing to post for tomorrow, what am I going to write?

Then I remember writing is a labor of love, and that keeps me going.

The other part of the blog that keeps me going are the readers. I love the blog readers, and I adore making them laugh.

When someone says to me, "I love your blog!" it fills up my insides with warm fuzzies.

And did I mention it keeps me blogging? There have been plenty of days, when I think, "that's it not another day of this blogging nonsense!"

Then someone says those four magical words, and my attitude transforms into "The Little Engine That Could."

"I think I can, I think I can."

Thank you! to everyone who takes the time to read my blog everyday, or every other day, or once a week, or even once a month. I deeply appreciate the support.

Balancing Act

Vinny playing the Birthday Candle Third Eye Balance Game.

I love this picture. Yeah, I'm a Mommy Nerd, which is better than being a Mommy Nazi. Although my house would probably be a lot tidier. Hmmmmmm. No, nevermind.

L, M, N, O

".................now I know my ABC's next time won't you sing with me," Sings Gio for the 5th time that night.

"Mommy, Daddy, you're supposed to clap now," says Gio.

Good thing we have him to keep us on track. He may be be our only hope for an organized future.

"Are you ready for another song?" asks Gio.

"Sure, baby, go head," I say.

"A, B, C, D........................."

Second verse same as the first.

What To Do?

Surfing: A fine choice.

"Daddy has to work tomorrow," I say to Vinny. "And Gio has school. That means we can ride our bikes, go for a hike, or go surfing together."

"Let's just lounge at home," suggests Vinny.

"Sorry, Mommy doesn't play that game," I say.

Big Brothers

"Baby Kate prepare for warp drive!" exclaims Master Pod Engineer Vinny.

It's days like these, I wish I had a big brother. Oh well, at least Baby Kate has two big brothers. It kind of makes up for me having none.

Skater Dude

The only thing missing from this picture is a skateboard and a scarf.

"Can I wear my boots?" asks Gio.

"No you can't wear boots with shorts, unless you're a go go dancer," I say.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss I cannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!"

"Oh wait," I say. "Your shorts are green, the boots are green, so of course, you can wear those boots with your shorts. Mommy was wrong."



Gotta love those boots!

Does That Apple Have Dairy In It?

I'm pretty much lactose intolerant. Sometimes I forget this random dietary fact of my body.

"Mommy, you really shouldn't be eating that ice cream," reminds Vinny.

"Brraaaart!" Background sound: sounds like a whoopee cushion, but isn't.

Vinny is, also, lactose intolerant, like me. But he's a bit more tolerant of dairy than I am. Meaning he can eat more dairy than I can, before he has to run like mad, to the bathroom.

"Oh, I ate too much dairy, again," says Vinny from the bathroom.

These days milk and milk by products, can be found in everything from lunch meat, to pasta, to fruit. And for us the dairy seems to add up, til the toilet runneth over, so to speak.

"Throw some milk on that salami, on the guacamole, on those apples, and on all the fast food across all the land," says Put Dairy In Everything Guy.

Why, why, why do they put milk in everything? We are not baby cows, are we?

"Mooooooooooooooooo," says a calf.

Just as Vinny reminds me to stay away from ice cream, I remind him not to over do it on dairy laced food.

"Let's go to McDonald's," says Vinny

"Do you remember what happened the last time you ate fast food," I say.

"Oh yeah....Let's just go home," says Vinny, realizing denial and the bathroom aren't where he wants to spend the rest of his days.

In The Middle of Night

It was about the same size and texture.

"Mommy!!!!!! Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!" screams Gio.

Time: 3 AM

This had become a regular occurrence last summer. Wait. Since he was born. But there was a new twist in his nightly waking up ritual. Poo!!!! Every night for about a month, he had been waking up with poo, in his pull up.

"Check the diaper for poo," says Stefan.

"Uh, there's none here," I say giving the area a whiff. It was poo free zone, or so I thought.

I change Gio, and easily get him back to sleep, in his own bed. I lay back down, drawing in a long deep breath, when my hand touches something, in the bed.

"What is that? I ask myself. "A piece of licorice?"

Unfortunately, I'm very olfactory, so I bring the so called licorice up to my nose to determine if it's red or black.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I scream. Da Da Da................(dramatic music)

"What's wrong?" Stefan startles awake .

"There's poop in our bed, and now it's in my hand!" I exclaim.

I jump out bed, to discard the poop properly this time.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I scream. Da Da Da................(more dramatic music)

"What's wrong now?" asks Stefan.

"I just stepped on poo," I say. "And I'm barefoot. It's all squishy!"

Oh well, at least, we were on vacation.

Somebody's Watching Me

"Hey honey you wanna see something really cute?" I ask Stefan.

"Of course, I do," says Stefan

"Look at this sweet picture of Gio sleeping with Baby Kate," I say. "I love the way he's cuddling with her."

"That's not cute, it's freaky!" exclaims Stefan. "Baby Kate is watching him!"

Who's Daisy?

"Hey look, Gio, it's a worm," I say.

"Oooooh, yeah, a worm!" says Gio. "It's still alive. Maybe Daisy would like to eat it."

"Uh, who is Daisy?" I ask, imagining a little girl, with pigtails and glasses. My stomach starts turning.

"Daisy is the turtle at school," answers Gio.

Phew.

Online Registration

Don't be deceived by this pretty picture.

Somehow, last night, when I sat down to write my blog I remembered, "oh no!" Online school registration, when is it due?"

Online registration sounds fast and easy, right? Wrong. Too bad I realized that when I was half way into the form.

First of all, I spent five minutes trying to figure out how to erase the already filled in information. As it turns out I was just supposed to verify that it was correct, which I did like 25 times, as I was trying to write over it.

"Why won't this work," I say to the computer.

Followed by silence.

Second of all, my frantic filling out of the online registration form woke up my sleeping husband.

"Honey, let me double check that form when you're done," says Now Awake Husband.

Rats! The thought of someone looking over my shoulder checking my work telling me, "you can't put your work phone number in the "home" slot," is irritating.

"Why not?" I argue. "It's the number they are going to use in the school directory and I don't know how to turn the home phone off. I know how to turn off my cell phone."

Third, I got distracted reading through the 19 volunteer opportunities available at Vinny's school. It's the volunteers, and the teachers that make Vinny's school great. It's also the very reason I make it a point to never, ever befriend the Queen of the PTA.

The last thing I want to do is stay up til 2 o'clock in the morning baking cookies for the bake sale. However at this rate, I may be up til 2 AM filling out the online registration form and then, maybe, I will write my blog.

Go ahead say it, "slacker Mom." I own it. I might even make a t-shirt. Actually, I prefer to volunteer in the classroom with my kid, which I didn't do at all this year, due to scheduling conflicts.

"Slacker Mom!" yells the Internet.

Ok, ok. The waves have been good this year, so I haven't made it in to volunteer. But the last two years, the waves were bad, and I volunteered a lot, so I'm kind of taking this year off.

On a more positive note, I am attending the last field trip of the year, next week. I'm really excited the waves are going to be flat......oops.....I mean I'm thrilled the field trip coincides with my schedule.

Asleep in the Doorway

On the way home from school, Gio fell asleep in the car.

"Gio wake up we're home," I say.

"Huh, okay," says Gio.

"Can you walk inside by yourself?" I ask.

"Uh, huh," Gio answers groggily.

He staggers through the garage into the house or so I thought. When I came in I found him asleep in the doorway, where he slept for over an hour.

He gets it from me. I do the same thing after a long day's surf.