Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween

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Hubby took the boys trick or treating, while I stayed home and answered the door.

"We didn't get any trick or treaters," says Hubby, when he got back.

"Yes, we did!" I say. "We got four."

"How was trick or treating?" I ask.

"We saw teenagers," says Vinny.

"We're they scary?" I ask.

"Yeah," answers Vinny. They were wearing clown masks."

Well, I'm glad it's over, and now I'm putting on my pj's and going to bed.

But, someone doesn't want Halloween to end.

"I wish it was Halloween all over again," says Gio.

Then two minutes later Gio says, "I wish Halloween was fun. It's just walking around doing nothing."

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Marina Shark Attack

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The best time to get back in the water after a shark attack is right away. For some surfers that means surfing the same day as "the incident," as one surfer referred to the attack not wanting to say"shark," while in the ocecan. For this surfer it's surfing the day after "the incident."

Is my eagerness to get back in the water because I'm dedicated to surfing? Or is it because surfing is my crack?

Answer: "Hello my name is Wendy and I'm addicted to surfing."

I text my BFF, "Surfing?????"

"Yeah!" she texts back.

Fortunately, she's a surfing crackhead, too.

"Yay!!!!" I text.

Surfing is better with friends, especially after "the incident."

Lady Gaga and my surf stoke were drowning all shark fears as I drove to the beach. Unfortunately, the first thing I see when I pull up to the beach is the shark warning sign, and an official U.S. Fish and Wildlife vehicle, complete with an officer staring out to sea, presumably looking for menacing sharks.

My balloon of surf stoke was quickly deflated as the memory that I share my playground with a bad mama jamma, the great white shark, bludgeons my brain.

Before I could change my mind, I quickly put on my wetsuit, sunscreen and waxed my surfboard.

"How are the waves?" asks an approaching Surfer.

"I don't know," I say. "I didn't look at it. I'm just paddling out."

The waves were small, but fun. My friends were out. And we didn't see any big fish. I'm glad I surfed. Besides, I hadn't surfed since Wednesday, and I needed a fix. :)

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Marina Shark Attack

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I just got a text from Monterey Bay shark attack survivor Todd Endris, updating surfer Eric Tarantino, today's Marina State Beach shark attack victim, status.

"Eric is doing fine...........Should be out in several days."

Yay!!!!!! This is great news! I'll be keeping Eric in my thoughts and prayers.

Marina Shark Attack

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A second shark attack in four years occurred at Marina State this morning at approximately 7:20 a.m. This is an account from a surfer, Paul M., that was in the parking of the beach where the shark attack occurred.The shark attack victim's first name is Eric.

"Brandon and Eric were the first ones to paddle out this morning. They each caught one wave. They had been out for about ten minutes when the shark attack occurred. No one actually saw the shark attack from the beach. Brandon didn't see the attack. Eric (the victim), we think he saw it (the shark). Eric made a comment made a comment later that he saw it (the shark)......... Eric yelled, 'shark,'" to Brandon, and at that point they paddled in together. When they got onto the beach, Eric was holding his arm as he was running towards the parking lot, indicating that there was an injury."

"At that time, everyone in the parking lot assumed it was a shark attack. 911 was activated immediately. Eric was able to walk under his power all the way up to the parking lot, but people were kind of helping him along. In the parking lot Eric laid down and surfers grabbed towels and applied pressure to all the wounds."

"He had a wound on the neck, maybe with a two inch gash. And then he his right forearm had wounds. There was about a two inch gash on the top of the forearm, and two larger gashes, on the wrist area. One was maybe four inches, one was about six inches. They were pretty deep with muscle exposed. They were pretty good sized gashes."

"After about eight minutes the paramedics arrived, and they took over. There was a lot of blood on his arm, neck and wetsuit, but by the time his wetsuit was cut away the bleeding had been controlled. The wounds weren't actively bleeding."

"The paramedics stabilized him. Eric was conscious the whole time, he could respond to questions. The ambulance took him to the airport. And they took him by helicopter to San Jose."

Surfing After Shark Attack @ Marina State Beach

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I'm going out! That shark is long gone.

"You're crazy," shout several surfers.

"I'm going to have the waves all to myself," says The Brave Surfer.

No way am I going out there, Internet! I have a sick feeling in my stomach just watching my friend out there.

Fortunately, he made it back in without incidence.

But when he came in he had this to say:

"I was okay until that seal started jumping out of the water. Then I thought that bad boy (the shark) is still out there."

"Yeah, but you didn't even come in right away after the seal started jumping out of the water?" I ask perplexed.

Internet, all I know is I'm not surfing Marina Beach. Ever. Maybe.

Shark Attack Marina State Beach

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Click here for an eyewitness account of the shark attack at Marina State Beach October 29th, 2011.

A second shark attack occurred this morning at Marina State Beach. I don't have any details, but I was told the person was bit on the shoulder and taken to a hospital. Praying for that surfer.

I just spoke to the lifeguard who said the surfer, Eric Tarantino, "is going to be okay. He had puncture wounds to his arm and neck,
deeper in the arm than the neck."

The lifeguard said, "the victim's friend didn't know Eric got attacked until he yelled, 'Shark!'"

The lifeguard continued "He was able to paddle in own his own."

By the size of the bite mark on the surfboard the lifeguard estimated the shark to be between 12 and 14 feet.

"That shark is probably out there right now,"says a Surfer staring out to sea.

"Yeah," agree all the surfers standing around watching waves peel down the beach.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Too Cool For Drugs

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It's Red Ribbon Week at the boys' school.

"What is Red Ribbon Week," I ask.

"It's where we pledge to not drink drugs," answers Vinny.

"Oh, did they give they give you that bracelet?" I ask.

"Yeah," answers Vinny.

"What does it say?" I ask.

"`Too Cool For Drugs,'" says Vinny.

"What are drugs?" I ask.

"Those things doctors prescribe that are bad if you take too many," answers Vinny.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Christmas In October

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Internet, Christmas has come early this year. At first I thought Madison Avenue was up to it's old marketing tricks. Today, when I saw Christmas trees at the mall, I figured THE MAD Men & Women were fooling me into Christmas shopping.

But then someone made me a perfect fitting purple knit hat with flower buttons sewn on it. That in and of itself is AWESOME, right?!

Later, I came home to find another perfectly fitting purple knit hat for me! Two purple post-surf hats in one day can only mean one thing. It must be Christmas .

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Lights Out!

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Tonight beginning at 10 p.m. until 6:30 a.m. tomorrow our power is going to be out due to a scheduled maintenance by PG&E, the power company.

We are running around like cats on catnip, or turkeys on tequila, making breakfast, trying to get lunches packed, placing clothes with their respective socks and underwear, washing dishes, and staring at the dishwasher.

"How long does this dishwasher take anyways?" asks Hubby. "And where are all the flashlights?" asks Hubby.

The man is seriously fretting over the dishwasher stopping mid cycle. Me, not so much. But if the dishwasher loses power mid-cycle tonight, I will scream tomorrow.

"Don't you have a flashlight app on your phone?" I ask.

"Yeah!" says Hubby having a light bulb moment.

"Wait, cancel that," I say, bursting his bubble. "Better save your phone battery and find a real flashlight."

"Oh yeah," says Hubby, continuing his fruitless search.

"You have 50 flashlights, surely you can find one," I encourage, as Hubby heads into the garage.

Internet, can you keep a secret? I do know where there is one flashlight, but I don't want to tell Hubby because it will disappear into the flashlight black hole.

Don't judge me. I'm an only child and it's my special Sugarland flashlight. When I turn on my Sugarland flashlight, Jennifer and Kristian are projected on to my carpet or wall, and they sing whatever song I request.

Not really. But still, it's very special to me.

Ten minutes later.

"I know I have a flashlight somewhere," says Hubby, looking a little sweaty.

"Did you look in Gio's bins?" I ask. "He's probably got them stashed somewhere."

But instead of heading to the toy room, Hubby heads back into the garage.

15 Minutes later.

"I can't find a single flashlight," says Hubby sounding winded, from the garage.

"Okay, fine, I know where there's one, but I don't really want to tell you," I say, not giving up any information.

But I don't think he hears me. Either that, or he remembers I'm an only child and decides it's not worth it because five minutes later he says, "I can't find a flashlight."

Tired of hearing about flashlights I shout out into the garage, "there's a flashlight in the ashtray of my car!"

I'm certain he doesn't hear me though. Then I realize all this time he's been "looking for a flashlight," in the "garage" he's really been outside riding his skateboard.

I know this because about two minutes later Hubby comes into the house and says, "I found a flashlight, and I love that new skateboard," all in the same sentence.

Phew. My Sugarland flashlight is safe for now, but I'm going to have to find a new hiding place in case Hubby's sub-conscious was listening, after all.

Anyways, it's nearly lights out, and I must say I prefer unplanned power outages. They're a lot less worry, work and not to mention, preparation.

Six minutes until 10 o'clock and the dishwasher is still whirring in the background.....................

Monday, October 24, 2011

Kung Fu Fighting

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The song "Kung Fu Fighting," is the soundtrack to my life. Frequently, "Kung Fu Fighting plays on a neverending, continuous loop.

"Please, turn off that song," I beg. "We've listened to 'Kung Fu Fighting,' twenty times!"

"But we like it," say the boys, while simultaneously karate chopping each other. "Haaaaaaaa!"

"Besides, we aren't actually hitting each other, we're just pretending," explains Gio, faking a high kick. Hye yaaaaaa!"

True it's starts out as faux choreographed pretend fighting, but somebody eventually gets whacked.

Then all I hear is "Wah!" followed by, "he hit me in the eye!"

When "Kung Fu Fighting," plays for the 50th time, I start rethinking the whole two kids thing. And when I start thinking that, I know it's time for a quick change of scenery.

"All right," I say. "That's enough! We're going outside to ride bikes and skateboards."

Mommy needs a double shot of sidewalk surfing.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Potato Bug

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"Honey, come quick, there's a giant bug in the garage!" I shout.

"What is it?" asks Hubby.

"Big!" I say.

"How big?" asks Hubby.

"Giant!" I say.

"Is it bigger than your thumb?" asks Hubby.

"Yeah!" I say.

"Is it a mouse?" asks Hubby.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm......maybe it isn't bigger than my thumb.

"It's just a potato bug," says Hubby picking up the scampering cricket. "What's the big deal? I used to play with them all the time when I was a kid."

Hello, I never played with bugs. But it was clear Hubby did from the way he used his hands as a bug treadmill to keep the bug from escaping his clutches.

Of course, after Hubby put the bug outside, he had to google potato bug, aka Jerusalem Cricket, which are "sometimes known to bite."

"You're lucky he didn't bite you," I say.

"No potato bug is gonna bite me," says Hubby, in manly voice.

"Yeah, it probably did, but you're so tough Mr Potato Bug couldn't pierce your Kevlar-like skin," I say to myself, in case another bug shows up and I need his help.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Arm Warmers

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These lovely arm warmers were made by The Most Awesome Person in the World!

Internet what's better than leg warmers? Answer: Purple Arm Warmers with thumb holes!


I love to wear arm warmers in bed at night while I'm reading or browsing the world wide web. My arms are out of the covers, but they are warm and unfettered thanks to my AWESOME new arm warmers.

"Wow did you buy those arm warmers?" asks Gio amazed.

"No, Saint Super Ped made them," I answer.

"Great, now she can quit her job," says Gio.

"Yeah, but she's a doctor and she helps a lot of people in that job," I say.

Don't I know that all too well.

"She should quit her job," argues Gio. "She'll make $2000. Plus, she can have a store called "Arm Warmers and Leg Warmers."

Friday, October 21, 2011

It's Algebra Dude!

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Today I went to science class with Gio's first grade class. After everyone was finished with their science project, they flipped over their papers and started a math contest.

"52 + 48 = 100," says one kid.

"One million minus two million is dash one million," says another kid.

"Woah, that's right!" I say.

These are uber smart first graders.

Then Gio got into the contest.

"14 + x = 15," says Gio. "What's X?"

But before anyone has a chance to answer Gio says, "X is one!"

"No it's not," say the kids.

"Yes It Is!" says Gio. "IT'S ALGEBRA!!!!!!!!!"

The kids mull it over for a millisecond and say, "Oh yeah, you're right."

I didn't even know what algebra was until middle school, yet all these first graders, not only know algebra, but they get it, too. What are the schools, and my husband, teaching the kids these days?

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Happy Birthday Mew Kittens!

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Internet, guess who turned 1 year old today? That's right the baby girl mew kittens!

"Happy birthday to Mews. Happy Birthday to Mews.............."

I guess that means I'm living with two teenagers. They do sleep a lot. And there are the running fits. They're constantly jumping off of high things, and going places they shouldn't. Did I mention they are ruining the furniture, and harrassing their canine sibling. And how could I forget they are eating us out of house and home.

Oh well, at least they will never ask to borrow the car.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Star Wars Chess

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Tonight Gio and I played Star Wars Chess. Star Wars Chess is just chess with Star Wars characters. Honestly, I have a hard enough time remembering which way the regular chess characters move without adding Yoda, Luke Skywalker, and Queen Amidala into the mix.

Fortunately, Gio was exceptionally patient in explaining which pieces did what.

"This is Darth Vader," says Gio. "He's the queen. He soooooooo doesn't look like a queen.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Goddess Is Good

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For all the torment big brothers inflict, they are pretty awesome when they're nice.

Monday, October 17, 2011


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Sunday, October 16, 2011

Living The Life

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I'm sitting outside, reading a book on my Droid tablet via the Kindle app. The boys are riding their bikes. The sun is shining. I'm living the life, Internet! Woot!

Saturday, October 15, 2011


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"Loose, footloose kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise pull me off a my knees
Jack, get back c'mon before we crack
Lose your blues everybody cut footloose...."

Oh hey, Internet I didn't hear you come in cause I was busy dancing.

Tonight, the Huz and I went to see the remake of the movie, "Footloose."

"Honey, do you remember the first "Footloose?" I ask.

"Not at all," answers Hubby.

"Me either," I say. "But I kind of want to watch it again after seeing the remake."

That being said this, obviously isn't going to be a compare and contrast movie review.

I did enjoy the new, "Footloose," despite the fact that it was filled with teenagers doing stupid, naughty and dangerous things.

Ahhhhh! It's not easy watching movies about teenagers who want to live life fearlessly, knowing the I will eventually be a parent to two teens.

The dancing in Footloose was well choreographed, I think. Many of the dancing scenes in "Footloose," were filmed too close. Often times the dancers were filmed from the waist up, perhaps to stress the lewdness and lasciviousness of the dance. Which I must say it did quite well. :p Though I believe we'd all just rather watch great dancing.

Julianne Hough, formerly of Dancing With The Stars was stunning and charismatic in a saucey kind of way as the female lead, Ariel Moore. Professional dancer, Kenny Wormald plays Ren McCormach, a James Dean-esque rebel with a cause, peppered with Mikhail Baryshnikov flair.

Ren's cause: Make dancing legal in the small town of Bomont. Did he succeed? I am not gonna tell you, go see it yourself.

"Loose, footloose kick off your Sunday shoes.
Oowhee, Marie shake it, shake it for me
Whoa, Milo c'mon c'mon let's go Lose your blues everybody cut footloose......"

Friday, October 14, 2011

Monterey Bay Aquarium Great White Shark Exhibit

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The Great White Shark.

"Hey let's go check out the new great white shark at the aquarium," I say.

As usual Vinny says, "No way!" and Gio says,"Sure!"

But once we got to the Monterey Bay Aquarium Vinny was like a kid in, well, an aquarium.

Gio on the other hand wasn't.

"Okay let's get out of here," says Gio, tugging on my jacket.

"We just got here," I say. "Let me take a few more pictures of the great white shark, please."

The Monterey Bay Aquarium does not allow flash photography in the great white shark exhibit, making it impossible to get a good shot in the low light.

"Snap, snap," clicks my camera.

"Okay, that's two pictures," says Gio. "Let's get out of here before the wall collapses and the place fills up with water."

"That's not going to happen," I say out loud, but we left the area just in case. There's plenty of other fish in the Monterey Bay Aquarium to see, right?

Besides, we hadn't gotten barreled yet.

"Hey, guys go sit under the wave and I'll take a picture when the wave hits," I say.

"Okay," answer the boys.

As the wave hits Gio screams, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Gio's shriek ricocheted off the tunnel walls, bouncing into my ear, perforating my ear drum, I'm sure. My ears are still ringing, anyways.

I felt even worse for the poor tourists who were trapped in the tunnel with us.

"Sorry," I say to the room full of strangers.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Star Wars

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What's better than being 9 years old in 1977 at a huge movie theater in Los Angeles seeing Star Wars for the first time????

Answer: Watching Star Wars with my boys. Tonight was Gio's first time seeing Star Wars, and it was Vinny's second time.

"Wow, that's a really good movie for being made in 1977," says Vinny. "But only because it was a book first."

Wise you are Master Vinny.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


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It's times like these when I like to ask, "Who didn't want the kittens?"

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Biker Dudes

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Monday, October 10, 2011

Empi Tens Unit

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Endorphin stimulating Tens Unit.

Technologically speaking, I'm always connected. And my kids have come to expect it.

I've got my laptop, smart phone, Android tablet, and assorted MP3 players.

"Mom you always ignore me when you're on your Droid," rightly complains Vinny.

So when Gio mistook my Tens unit, a pain management machine, for an entertainment device I wasn't surprised..

"What is that some sort of T.V.?" asks Gio.

"No it's not," I say.

Not one to give up, Gio asks "Is it an MP3 player?"

"No, it's not an MP3 player," I answer. "It makes my neck feel better."

"Well, if it isn't an MP3 player, then why does it say Empi?" asks Gio.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

October Break

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The boys, all three of them, are on October break.....If you need us will be at the beach. The number is 975-WAVE.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Dirt Devil Gator

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The solution to canine shedding.

"Honey, will you vacuum the dog," I ask.

"Uh, okay," says Hubby certain this is a bad idea.

Actually I thought it was a bad idea too since she attacks the vacuum cleaner when I suck the carpet via my mechanical appertus.

"Hey!" says Hubby. "I think she likes it."

Friday, October 7, 2011

Remember When.....

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"Mom remember when you said you were going to give me this forever?" asks Gio.

"What?" I ask, looking at a bluetooth headset dangling below Gio's ear. "No I don't remember."

Well, you did," says Gio.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Closet Organizer

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Are You Breathing, the blog, reminds me to breathe and gives me a creative outlet, which helps me sleep restfully at night.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz," I snooze.

Today, the blog will serve as a cheek blushing conduit of shame and embarrassment, providing me with the good swift "kick in the eye," (hey look it's a song!) that I need to clean my closet.

Internet, meet my closet.

Closet, Internet.

Internet, Closet.

Keep in mind, my closet is a walk-in closet.


It's. A. Hot. Mess. I vow on this blog to work on my closet 5 minutes a day until it's clean.

***this post brought to you by True Slacker Dedication, Inc., where we hardly try.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

RIP Steve Jobs

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I saw a rainbow on the way home tonight. I couldn't help but imagine Steve Jobs is up there shining down on all of us now, in a peaceful place.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Santa Lucia Preserve

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Internet I've done it! I've made my kid as paranoid about lice as I am. Which according to my calculations should reduce our risk of invasion by 2 million percent.

Yesterday. I went on a field trip to Santa Lucia Preserve for a nature walk with Gio's class.

Before we headed out on the trail, our lovely guide Kirsten handed out cards with pictures and names of the various flowers, leaves and piles of poo we'd find along the trail.

But these weren't ordinary cards. No. They were cards with yarn strings attached to them, better known as necklace cards.

Da da da!

"Red alert! screams my Brain. "Lice could be living on the yarn! Wait. Take a deep breath. Don't panic. We're the first class to come out here in a while, so the necklaces are probably lice free. Yeah it's okay."

Just as my mind was free from licacious worry, there was a tug on my shirt. It was Gio.

"Mom," he says pointing to the necklace cards the guide was still holding.

"El....Eye.....See.....Eeeee," warns Gio, spelling out lice slowly, while scrunching his face.

"It's okay, I don't think anyone has worn them in awhile..............Just don't trade with anyone!"

Bark Mask

Redwood Seed.

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Source of All Bacon

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Sunday, October 2, 2011


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Internet, guess what I did yesterday???

That's right I went surfing. In real waves, and on a real surfboard.

It. Was. Awesome.

I'm not back to surfing everyday or anything. And I will have to settle for surfing "nice, friendly," waves for now. But that's okay, because it feels so good to be back in ocean again.

"Reunited and it feels so good......."

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Bike Ride

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We dropped Vinny off at a birthday party, and we took Gio for a bike ride on the rec trail. Fun!
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