Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Surfing Dolphins

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While surfing the other day I see a giant splash in the water, about a 50 yards from where I am sitting, waiting for my next wave.

"What was that?!" I ask, ready to paddle in, if necessary.

"Oh it's the dolphins," says my surfer pal. "There going off today."

No sooner had he said that, when a dolphin boosted a five foot aerial out of a wave.


Then a dolphin started heading towards me and another surfer, like an under water missile. In other words, fast!

"Whoa," says the surfer, sitting about ten feet from me.

It's a strange feeling to have a dolphin swimming at you, paddling for a wave, at approximately thirty miles an hour. But neither I nor the other surfer moved a muscle, trusting the dolphin, would steer clear of us.

We bobbed up as the wave past under us, with the dolphin threading us like an eye of a needle, while riding the wave, below the surface of the water.


And that's just one reason why I surf, I suppose. To watch the dolphins surf. And really, who needs more reason than that?

Dolphins are surfers too, and way hotter than those Hollywood posers, featured in People Magazine, every week. In fact, they're the reason I cancelled my People Magazine subscription.

Well, I would have cancelled it, if I'd had a subscription, in the first place. So, there.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Pepe Le Pew Returns, Again

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Yes, the skunk is back. But this time he didn't bother spraying the dog. Apparently, the dog is now small time to Pepe Le Pew. Oh yeah, the skunk is moving on to spraying bigger and better things, such as the entire perimeter of the house.

Not only can I smell the skunky aroma strongly when I'm outside, but I can smell it nearly as much when I'm inside the house, too. Yay! That's just like getting two for the price of one, a twofer, with a terrible return policy, twoferterrible. :(

Excuse me while I vomit from the nauseating odor.

"Wretch, wretch, wreeeeetch!"

Hmmmmmmm, that's not better?

Anyways, Stefan went to the store to pick up a trillion mothballs, which are now scattered throughout the yard. I was told by a friend skunks don't like mothballs, and will immediately pack their bags, when mothballs invade their "home." That's karma Mr. Skunk.

Oh and, Mark, thanks for the hot mothball tip. Too bad we didn't employ it sooner. The smell was the reminder we needed, I guess.

It better work, for the skunk's sake, anyways. All is fair, in a war on my olfactory systems. Besides, I really don't want to call the weird, animal ornamented, pest remover, van guy, if I don't have to.

I wonder if Nature's Miracle Skunk Odor Remover comes in one gallon spray containers? Or if I can, at least, buy stock in the company?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Sniffing Gluten

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"What are you doing, Mom?" asks Vinny.

"Smelling pretzels," I say.

"Smelling gluten," clarifies Vinny.

"Exactly," I say.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to suck on a long, hard, salty, pretzel stick, right now. My mouth is all wet, just thinking about it.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

If Only They Were More Like Their Sister

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"Baby Kate's asleep," announces Gio.

Now if only her brothers were too. 

Friday, August 27, 2010


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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Moms Ride Skateboards Too

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"You're mom rides a skatebaord?!" says a neighbor kid.

"Yeah and she's pretty good," says Vinny.

Apparently, the boy could not believe a mom could ride a skateboard, even after I started carving up and down the street. It wasn't even like I was doing anything except sidewalk surfing.

Then he asks me, "You know how to ride a skateboard?"

"No," I say figuring if he can't believe his own eyes why would he take my word for it? And to mess with him just a little bit.

"Yes, you do!" yells the boy, finally convinced.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I Saw Ray's Thingy

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Yeah, I could live here. How about you?

Right as we were getting ready to paddle out and go surfing my surfing BFF says, "Hey, that guy caught a fish!"

Yeah a really weird fish, I thought to myself.

After, watching the battle I realize, "That's no fish, that's some sort of stingRay. He better not cut the line, and leave the hook in. I'm going over to see if he needs help."

I could tell the fisherman was a bit freaked out, having never caught a stingRay prior to today. A crowd was gathering around him. He really wanted to do the right thing. People were watching.

I run down the beach, in my red bathing suit, and matching red flotation device. Just kidding, I was in my boring black wetsuit. Silly me.

The stingRay was thrashing about, making it challenging for the fisherman to get the hook out of the stingRay's mouth. But after a minute, he managed to free the hook.

Unfortunately, the flapping stingRay was beached, and on his back, stranded on the sand about 20 feet from the water.

After several unsuccessful attempts, the fisherman finally flipped the stingRay over on to his belly, with his booted foot. But the stingRay was still stuck on the sand.

In his frustration, the stingRay let out an audible exhale. The fisherman was trying to scoot the stingRay with his foot, but that was one slippery fish, and he wasn't having any luck getting him to the water.

The fisherman, wanted to help the stingRay, whose tail was whipping wildly, but he didn't want to get stung. And I couldn't take anymore of the fisherman's, useless kick assists, so I offered help. "Hey, I can push him out with my surfboard."

Even I wasn't having much luck moving the stingRay into the water using the nose of my surfboard. But, thankfully, my BFF joined me with her board, and we quickly scooted the stingRay back into the water.


"That little bugger better not sting me, now" I say.

I've seen enough people writhing on the beach after being stung by stingRays, to know I didn't want that to happen to me. I've read the best way to walk through the water when stingRays are present, is too shuffle/drag your feet along the bottom of the sea.

Oh, and if you're wondering how I knew Ray was he, let's just say that his "thingy" kept popping in and out, in and out, leaving me with a visual I will never forget. Not. Ever.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

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I believe country music's over use of TWAAAAAANG, can all be forgiven, thanks to this song, "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy," by Big & Rich. Wow, even the name of their band is one giant innuendo.

"Honey, put your boots on, it's time to save a horse!"

Monday, August 23, 2010

Dirty Minds

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I wonder if "People With Dirty Hands," is part of a book series like the Dummies book series? Because I'd be interested in reading the one for dirty minds, especially if there are pictures.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Homework On Saturday?

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"Is it time for school?" asks Gio enthusiastically, upon waking.

"No, it's Saturday," I answer. "No school today."

"Awwwww," moans Gio. "Let's do homework!"

I wonder how long this will last?

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Visual Learner

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I hope Vinny is a visual learner, someone who learns simply by watching someone else "do", in this case, cook.

And if he is someone who learns by observation, I'll go to Benihana every night for dinner, if that's what it takes to teach him how to cook.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Money, Money Loves Me

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Sure money can't buy me loooooooove, money can't buy me love. But it can buy several houses on the beach in front of perfect waves, in a multitude of tropical locations.

Internet, what are you going to buy with your money, money?

"I am a magnet to money. Money, money loves me!"

Thursday, August 19, 2010

How To Disable Facebook Places

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Facebook rolled out a new geolocation feature, Places, yesterday. Places, let's you broadcast where you are right now, and also allows your friends to tag your location and broadcast it to others.

Basically, geolocation services, are high tech word of mouth advertising, that divulge your exact physical location down to the street address, and may or may not offer deals to those who check in.

When you broadcast your location, you are in essence advertising the business you are checking in to, to all of your friends and followers.

If you don't want people to know where you are, or if you don't want your friends broadcasting, or worse pranking your location, then watch the video to learn how to disable Facebook Places. It's short, simple and sweet.

To learn more about how to use Facebook Places from either a user or marketing point of view, check out this post on mashable.com (click the link)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Everyone Hears Dead People, But I Hear Groceries

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Tonight, for ten minutes, my head played this recording over and over, "If I make 3 cups of brown rice do I put 5 or 6 cups of water in the pot?"

Yep, the fretting in my mind was incessant. And for NOTHING. Because when I finally decided, "it has to be six cups of water for three cups of rice!" I discovered I only had one cup of brown rice left to cook.

One. Cup.

Hello? Forget, are you breathing? I was all, are you kidding?!

To make matters worse, when I was at the grocery store, only 2 hours ago, the brown rice was screaming, "buy me, buy me, for the love of Peet's coffee, buy me!"

"Holy psychic rice, how does it know I love Peet's coffee?!" I ask myself.

But, then, I realize the rice isn't psychic, it saw the Peet's coffee in my cart.

Anyways, I'm not going to let smooth talking long, hard, grain rice seduce me, even if it is brown. So I turn up my nose and say, "I prefer Trader Joe's rice, hmmphf!"

Obviously I didn't say this out loud to the rice. Because people would think I'm crazy, talking to rice. Being the psychic ninja/surfer that I am, I sent the condescending message through my third eye, to the rice. Pow!

And where did playing hard to get with the SavMart rice get me, anyways? Nearly, dancing in the lap of that lusty, muscley, devil, GLUTEN.

"Don't do Gluten!" sings the Anti-Gluten Chorus.

Now I'm pretty much back where I started, "if I make 1 cup of rice, do I put 2 or 3 cups of water in the pot?"

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Making Out

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Internet, notice anything strange about today's picture? Give up? There's blue skies and sun!!!Sun, sun, sun. I love sun. Anyways, the sun is still out for a few more minutes. Guess what I'm going to do? I'm going outside, and sticking my tongue down his Holy Hotness' throat.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Hot Cross Buns

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"Honey, I didn't make you a cinnaBUN," says Hubby. "But I'll give you a bite of mine."

"I don't want a bite of your Gluten!" I say freakishly defensive.

"Do you want a bite of anything else?" asks Hubby.

He thinks his cinnaBUNs are so cute. And I suppose he's right. His cinnaBUNs are hot, like my gluten free muffins, fresh out of the oven. :P

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Gluten List

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Sometime around July 23rd I read through a list (posted by a twitter friend, thanks!) of foods containing gluten. Shortly, after reading that list I was inspired to cut gluten out of my diet for two reasons.

One, to feel better. And two, to look better, in other words, get rid of belly fat.

Gluten is a protein found in grains, such as, wheat, barley, rye, spelt, kamut, and oats and their associated products. Since I've eliminated gluten, I've been getting questions like, "what is gluten?" and "is gluten listed in the ingredients?"

These aren't easy questions to answer, so I'm including a list that will help you answer these questions for yourself. Click the link to see what foods are gluten free, as well as which foods contain gluten.

To simplify the gluten free process for myself, I limit my grain to rice, mainly brown, since whole grains stabilize my blood sugar levels. Meaning I don't eat any cereal, breads, pastas, etc.

My diet mainly consists of fruits and veggies, nuts, turkey, eggs, chicken, water, coffee and dark chocolate. A girl has to have some fun, thankfully there's sex and surfing for that.

I'm happy to say I feel better. The meals I eat are satisfying. I am eating less, and not feeling like I'm starving. My energy is more even, without all the highs and lows.

My belly is slowly shrinking, of course, I'm incorporating exercise into my belly shrinking plan.

A gluten free diet takes a bit of planning ahead, and if I go to a restaurant I usually pick a salad. Also, if I go to a party, I eat my main meal before I go. I keep nuts and fruit on hand when out and about. Also, I make sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day.

Gluten is the devil, and the way to God is a gluten free diet. I am the Anti-Gluten. Gluten get behind me.

However, if I could eat Gluten and feel good, I would. But I can't. So I don't. And honestly, I don't even miss it.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Oh My! Nipples

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Friday, August 13, 2010

Use The Force

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Last night Gio, snuck out of his bed into mine, but he made sure to cover his tracks first.

Yep, we're in big trouble with this one.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Second Day of School

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I know most Moms take first day of school pictures of their children. But I'm not most Moms, and my kids will have to settle for Second Day of School Picture.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

First Day of School!

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After feeling anxious about the first day of school, all day yesterday, I'm happy to report everything went smoothly.

And we were on time. (Applause!)

I suppose, the threat of visiting the office for tardy slips, was motivation enough for the three of us to be on time.

Vinny was excited to be back in school. I was talking to him, and didn't even realize he had run off, and was standing in front of the fourth grade door, waiting for it to open.

"Don't you want to walk your brother to his first day of kindergarten?" I ask.

"No, you'll do a good job on your own," Vinny assures me.

And off we went to kindergarten. We were greeted cheerily at the door by the teacher, then we quickly found Gio's cubby and unpacked his lunchbox and snack.

"Okay bye Mom," says Gio.

"It's not time for me to go," I say. But he was too busy exploring his new world, to notice I was still there. There wasn't a question in my mind whether or not he was ready for kindergarten. It was as if his whole life culminated around this point.

Come to think of it, my life, the last couple of years, was spent determining how to get him ready for kindergarten. And thank goodness, I had a lot of help from the teaching angels, including Hubby and some of my teacher friends. Thank you <3!

The bell rang, indicating it was time for the parents to leave so the kinder teacher could get down to the ABC's and 123's.

I moseyed over to the parent social for the promise of coffee. I even talked to people in real life. On a lower note, I refused to sign the PTA volunteer list, claiming I prefer to volunteer in the classroom, backed up by my standard, "I'm an unreliable, lazy surfer, you can never count on me."

Though I have to admit the PTA person was so nice and fun, with her blue and yellow aura, if she hadn't given up so easily I would have at least signed the sheet. (Just kidding MK ;) ) Our PTA is part of what makes our school great, I'm just not ready to be part of that greatness.

And on that note, I'm exhausted. Yep the first day of school, is not unlike an ocean wave that picks me up like a rag doll, dragging me across the ocean floor. I can't wait to wake up tomorrow at 5:30am and do it, I say, do it, all over again. :)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Vans Classic

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On our back to school shoe shopping venture, Gio picks out Vans Classic checker board shoes. Yeah they're the same shoes surfer Jeff Spicoli wore in the coming of age movie, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," in 1982.

Internet, 1982 is the year I started high school! And now my son is wearing them to kindergarten tomorrow 28 years later (I checked the math 3 times, it's right).

In the words of Jeff Spicoli it's, "Awesome! Totally awesome!"

And surreal! Totally surreal, dude.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High by Sammy Hagar

Monday, August 9, 2010

Love Is My Religion Ziggy Marley

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Hey check out this unplugged video of Ziggy Marley performing, "Love Is My Religion." I LOVE this song!

Think about it, Internet, what if everyone practiced the Religion of Love? Even better, how about the Religion of Unconditional Love? Where everyone is accepted no matter the color of their skin, their sex, their sexual preference, shape and size of their body, or the color of their eyes and hair.

The world I see looks a lot different. Everybody, after all, just wants to be loved for who they are.

And what stops us from giving our love freely? Fear. But remember when we judge someone, it's based on our own insecurities. That's right when we judge someone else, we are simply judging ourselves. It's never about the other person.

There is an easy an solution. One so obvious it is usually overlooked. We must first start by loving ourselves unconditionally.

How can we love anyone else unconditionally, if we don't love ourselves unconditionally? We can't.

And this is where the buts get in the way, "But my butt is too big," or "my butt is too small," or "when I finish my degree," or "when the house is perfectly organized," or "when I feel good," or "when my Mom loves me the way I need her to."

Get the point? Life is perfectly imperfect. And today is as good as any to start unconditionally loving all our quirks and imperfections.

If life were perfect, it would be so boring and there would be no challenge. Change starts with me, so here I go Internet.

"I love myself completely and deeply."

That wasn't so bad. Give it a go.

Need more help? Check out this mind movie I found on YouTube. Or click the link to learn how to make your own mind movie.

Psychic Surfer

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Cedar Closet Hang Up

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Not only do closet cedar hang ups, naturally freshen air while absorbing moisture and unpleasant odors, they double as great earrings.

Hmmmmmm? Do you think they're too long?

Nature's Miracle Skunk Odor Remover

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Nadia the Dog, suspiciously resembling
the markings of her perpetrator(s).

Skunked Part 2 (Part 1 click here)

Midnight Friday August August 7:

"The dog can sleep outside," I say.

"No, she can't," says Hubby. "The skunks will come back to get her."

Of course, now there's more than one skunk. Oh the poor, poor thing.

"Well, she won't smell any worse than she does right now," I say. "Leave her outside, she's a DOG."

"I saw two opossums out there this morning, if the skunks don't get her, the opossums will," says Hubby. "I'm going to give her a bath."

And he did, at 12 o'clock in the morning, on a work night. True love. How sweet. Here's what he used.

30 minutes, and three dog washes later, he comes back in with the dog, and the smell. Granted it isn't as strong, but it's there, like oxygen in the air. Am I breathing? Not at the moment.

"See it's fine," he says skunk drunk. "I can't smell a thing."

And he was right he couldn't , but I sure as H-E-double hockey sticks, could.

"That's because you've been trapped in Skundedom for the last 30 minutes, and now you have skunk oozing from your pores," I say. "It's a part of who you are now, who you will always be.

Needless to say we moved the dog's bed, to HIS side of the bed before we went to sleep.

Friday August 7 9:00 a.m.

I wake up and notice the dog does not smell like a skunk. It seems Nature's Miracle Skunk Odor Remover truly is miraculous, but takes a bit of time to eliminate all the odor.

It's totally enzymatic! The last time Nadia got sprayed by a skunk, the headache inducing, nauseating, aromatherapy lasted a year. I wish I was exaggerating.

Application Instructions:
For the record, Hubby put it on right away and straight, no chaser. In other words, her fur was dry. He let that sit on her coat for about an hour or so, reapplying the solution several times. Then he washed her three times with shampoo, without rinsing the skunk remover.

Internet I sincerely hope you never need to know this, but if you do, whoomp, there it is.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Sugarland Stuck Like Glue

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Sugarland's new video for "Stuck Like Glue," is hillarious and scary all at the same time. Sugarland's front girl Jennifer Nettles, has a stellar career in acting if she chooses.

And I hope she does!

The video pays homage to stalkers everywhere, with Nettles reprising Kathy Bates' role in Misery. Not only that, Nettles goes for it, in an Olivia Newton John inspired leotard, while channel dancing Beyonce.

And I almost overlooked Nettles rapping out to a reggae beat in part of the song!

"Oh! Emmmm! Geeee!"

Internet, you've got to see it, to believe it, so watch the video, y'all. :)

Thursday, August 5, 2010


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Good thing blogs aren't scratch and sniff.

So I've been tweeting about a skunk, lately.  You know the one that lives in our yard, whose eau de toilette wafts through the bathroom window, most nights.

Right, that skunk.  Yes, that skunk just sprayed Nadia the Dog.  Guess someone is sleeping in the dog house tonight.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Prop 8 Overturned

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On a positive California's voter approved, Prop H8, which banned same sex marriage, has been ruled unconstitutional by a Federal Judge today.


There is hope, Internet. There is hope for equal rights for all! Mr. President won't you join us?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Chest Opening Warm Up and Stretch

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Who should do this: Anyone who uses their arms daily, for anything. If you are injured please seek the advice of a qualified health care professional. This is not meant to replace medical care.

Most of the activities we engage in from working on computers, to doing laundry, exercising, yard work, even driving our cars closes our chest muscles creating tightness. Or worse pain, tingling and numbness in the shoulders, arms, and hands.

I do this warm up and stretch daily to release my front neck muscles and the muscles in my chest. As a result I always feel loose and strong for surfing and whatever the Ocean pulls out of her hat.

Begin with a simple warm up exercise. NEVER stretch cold muscles. Push fists together for 6 seconds, start with 10% strength and work up to 70% strength within the six seconds. Do this three times, and in front of a mirror to make sure your body posture is correct. Make sure to breathe.

If you use a physio ball make sure your head and neck are supported. The arms go straight out from the chest, palms of hands face up towards heaven. Take four deep breaths. Breathe in one, two, three, four. Pause one, two. Exhale one, two, three, four.

My BFF who teaches yoga taught me this one recently and I love it. Each arm makes a letter El (L) and the palms face up toward the sky. Again make sure you're neck and head are supported by the ball. Repeat the breathing four times.

If you don't have access to a physio ball, the corner of your bed, or even an ottoman will work fine, given there is enough room to stretch out your arms. As with the ball, the head and neck should always be supported by the bed.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Music Makes My World Go 'Round

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Lately I've been listening to the Michael Franti station on Pandora. And I love it! The Franti station seems to play the perfect mix of music, probably because his own music is a blend of hip hop, funk, reggae, jazz, folk, and rock.

I first heard of Michael Franti from a tweep on twitter, just a week ago. Without social networking I might have never discovered Michael Franti. This may not seem like a big deal, but I listen to music a lot, all day usually.

Yes, it's the miracle of music combined with social networking making my life better.

I heart social music networking.

I actually get a lot done when there's happy, festive music playing in the background. It's as if the music rallies the trillions and trillions of cells (the body's building blocks) into a cohesive army that's singing, "Let's Get This Party Started."

Music is grounding, inspiring and fun!

But don't take my word for it, try having fun, inspiring music on in the background while you're cleaning your house, or working on something.

Remember on Pandora there's music for all your moods. As a general rule I stay away from dysfunctional, depressing music.

Singing, Dancing, Breathing,
Psychic Surfer

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Get Grounded In 5 Minutes

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I'm always looking for fast easy ways to stay in balance, and get in my body. This quick video is perfect. It focuses on breathing and feeling the body, two requirements for getting grounded.

And remember everything you need to know is in the moment. Be. Here. Now.

Psychic Surfer
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