Trestles Beer

If only Trestles Beer were Gluten Free, it would be the beer for me.

Food Should Taste Good All Natural Chips Sweet Potato

I agree with the manufacturer.

"Food should taste good."

But, not so good that I sit in the car, eating the whole bag of chips before Hubby gets the groceries out of the car and into the house.

"Save me some," shouts Hubby, taking in another load of groceries.

"Don't worry, I knew this would happen," I say. "So, I got you your own bag."

And that worked fine for a while, but now I'm back to buying one bag and splitting it with Hubby. And by splitting I mean, I try to leave him half a bag, but it's more like a third. Or a quarter. Or maybe it's just the crumbs.

Sniffing Gluten

"What are you doing, Mom?" asks Vinny.

"Smelling pretzels," I say.

"Smelling gluten," clarifies Vinny.

"Exactly," I say.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to suck on a long, hard, salty, pretzel stick, right now. My mouth is all wet, just thinking about it.

Everyone Hears Dead People, But I Hear Groceries

Tonight, for ten minutes, my head played this recording over and over, "If I make 3 cups of brown rice do I put 5 or 6 cups of water in the pot?"

Yep, the fretting in my mind was incessant. And for NOTHING. Because when I finally decided, "it has to be six cups of water for three cups of rice!" I discovered I only had one cup of brown rice left to cook.

One. Cup.

Hello? Forget, are you breathing? I was all, are you kidding?!

To make matters worse, when I was at the grocery store, only 2 hours ago, the brown rice was screaming, "buy me, buy me, for the love of Peet's coffee, buy me!"

"Holy psychic rice, how does it know I love Peet's coffee?!" I ask myself.

But, then, I realize the rice isn't psychic, it saw the Peet's coffee in my cart.

Anyways, I'm not going to let smooth talking long, hard, grain rice seduce me, even if it is brown. So I turn up my nose and say, "I prefer Trader Joe's rice, hmmphf!"

Obviously I didn't say this out loud to the rice. Because people would think I'm crazy, talking to rice. Being the psychic ninja/surfer that I am, I sent the condescending message through my third eye, to the rice. Pow!

And where did playing hard to get with the SavMart rice get me, anyways? Nearly, dancing in the lap of that lusty, muscley, devil, GLUTEN.

"Don't do Gluten!" sings the Anti-Gluten Chorus.

Now I'm pretty much back where I started, "if I make 1 cup of rice, do I put 2 or 3 cups of water in the pot?"

Hot Cross Buns

"Honey, I didn't make you a cinnaBUN," says Hubby. "But I'll give you a bite of mine."

"I don't want a bite of your Gluten!" I say freakishly defensive.

"Do you want a bite of anything else?" asks Hubby.

He thinks his cinnaBUNs are so cute. And I suppose he's right. His cinnaBUNs are hot, like my gluten free muffins, fresh out of the oven. :P

Gluten List

Sometime around July 23rd I read through a list (posted by a twitter friend, thanks!) of foods containing gluten. Shortly, after reading that list I was inspired to cut gluten out of my diet for two reasons.

One, to feel better. And two, to look better, in other words, get rid of belly fat.


Gluten is a protein found in grains, such as, wheat, barley, rye, spelt, kamut, and oats and their associated products. Since I've eliminated gluten, I've been getting questions like, "what is gluten?" and "is gluten listed in the ingredients?"

These aren't easy questions to answer, so I'm including a list that will help you answer these questions for yourself. Click the link to see what foods are gluten free, as well as which foods contain gluten.

To simplify the gluten free process for myself, I limit my grain to rice, mainly brown, since whole grains stabilize my blood sugar levels. Meaning I don't eat any cereal, breads, pastas, etc.

My diet mainly consists of fruits and veggies, nuts, turkey, eggs, chicken, water, coffee and dark chocolate. A girl has to have some fun, thankfully there's sex and surfing for that.

I'm happy to say I feel better. The meals I eat are satisfying. I am eating less, and not feeling like I'm starving. My energy is more even, without all the highs and lows.

My belly is slowly shrinking, of course, I'm incorporating exercise into my belly shrinking plan.

A gluten free diet takes a bit of planning ahead, and if I go to a restaurant I usually pick a salad. Also, if I go to a party, I eat my main meal before I go. I keep nuts and fruit on hand when out and about. Also, I make sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day.

Gluten is the devil, and the way to God is a gluten free diet. I am the Anti-Gluten. Gluten get behind me.

However, if I could eat Gluten and feel good, I would. But I can't. So I don't. And honestly, I don't even miss it.