Book Club Da Da Da

"Use a book mark," instructs Stefan, "this is bad for the binding."

Friday June 26, 2009 10:30 PM

I'm finally on page 200 of "The Kite Runner," this months book club selection.

"I couldn't put it down," says one of my friends.

I wondered if it was because some trickster had glued it to her hands.

To make matters worse Vinny tells me, "I could read that in two days."

"Well, so could I if I didn't have laundry, dishes, a house, a husband, children, a cat, a dog, work, friends, blogs, twitter, facebook................." I ramble on as absolutely no one listens.

Then my husband makes a confession, which makes me feel better, but doesn't help.

"When is something going to happen in the story," I ask Stefan.

"Do you know how long it took me to read that book?" Stefan asks.

"Um, are you still reading it?" I ask.

"No," he answers. "It took me six months," he says.

"Six months?!" I say. "I don't even have six days left. Oh well, at least, I can go to the meeting for good food and good company."

Saturday June 27 12:15AM-1AM

I stayed up way too late reading from page 200 to 230 of the Kite Runner. Especially considering my alarm was set for a 5AM dawn patrol surf.

Saturday June 27 All Day Long

I read 0 pages in "The Kite Runner," despite the fact that I was sick and laying on the couch all day. The book, however, was close at hand, in case I decided to read it.

Sunday June 28 4PM

Still sick on the couch, just woke up from a nap, read from 230-307.

"If he doesn't adopt the kid, I'm not going to finish reading it," I say. "Does he adopt the kid?"

"Mommy you should find out what happens in the book, the way like I do............. by reading it,"

"You have less than 70 pages left and you aren't going to finish it?!" asks Stefan incredulously.

Sunday June 28 10:17 PM
Finished the book, sobbed, tossed and turned for two hours in bed, finally got up at Midnight, for some mindless television relief, Gossip Girl style. I know I love her. xoxo

Wednesday July 1
My review of The Kite Runner. Stay tuned.

BET Michael Jackson Tribute

BET's Tribute to Michael Jackson with a few words from his sister Janet.

Dizzy Tommy Roe

Fever and Beyonce are pretty much gone from my life. But now I'm left with lightheaded, dizziness. And this song keeps playing over and over in my head. No wonder I have a headache.

Fever Beyonce

Well, I'm not looking or feeling hot like Beyonce is, in this video, but I have a fever. Yes, I have a fever, but it has nothing to do with getting all hot and bothered.

It's not the fun kind of fever. It's the lay on the couch all day long, and look outside saying "it's too nice of a day to be sick," kind of fever.

Although listening to this song is helping....I'm getting to the point where the fever is transforming from the shivers and chills, to the inconsolable, burning hot, gotta take off all my.........blankets.

Yes, I'm starting to feel better, which reminds me of another song. To be continued tomorrow..........

Farrah Fawcett

Kelly, Sabrina and Jill. (Jaclyn Smith, Kate Jackson, Farrah Fawcett.

I loved Charlie's Angels as a kid. And now, lo and behold, I can re-watch every single episode on you tube. Click here if you would like to watch the original episodes.

With the recent death of Farrah Fawcett,Rest In Peace, Stefan and I were both reminded of our Angel Crushes.

"Wow, Farrah Fawcett died," I say. "She was only 62."

"Really?" queries Stefan. "She wasn't my favorite. The one with the dark hair was."

"Well, there were two Angels with dark hair," I say. "Did like you Kelly or Sabrina?"

"I don't know," says Stefan. "Show me a picture."

"Did you like Kelly or Sabrina?" I say pointing to a picture of the three original Angels.

"Oh yeah, it was definitely, Kelly," says Stefan. "I had a crush on her."

"Kelly was my favorite, too," I say. "Good to know we have the same taste in women."
(Not too mention the fact that I'm not a blond, phew!)

All three Angels, were hot and that was fine and all. But I cannot tell you how disappointed I was to learn that Charlie was not what I had envisioned.

I knew what I was getting into with Bosley, what you see is what you get. But Charlie sounded so mysterious and charming on speaker phone. Then when he finally came out of the speaker phone, he turned out to be my Grandpa! Somehow they always managed to hide his grey hair, when they showed glimpses of his broad shoulders from the back.

"Oh, he was so handsome back in the day," my Mom would go on and on about Charlie.

All I could think, "was that back in the day of the silent movie?"

I'm still a little upset. Is it too late for a refund?



Our Common Angel Crush.

Sugarland Medley Covers Nelly, Michael Jackson, Madonna, The Emotions

Click here to listen as Sugarland pays tribute to Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson Dancing Moon Walk

Michael Jackson

News Update from Breaking News on Twitter: TMZ: Law enforcement is looking for a doctor who lived at Michael Jackson's home. The doctor gave Jackson an injection before he died.

My surfing bff and I were just getting back into town, from a surfing no cell zone, I had been unplugged from the matrix for hours.

"OMG!" I say.

"What?" asks my friend.

"It can't be true!" I say. "I'm not going to say it till I confirm its true."

"It's true, Michael Jackson is dead at age 50," I say.

"Wow, he was young," says my friend.

Now I know what it feels like to lose a true pop legend. I felt like our parents felt when Elvis died. I must be growing old.

Not only did I grow up with Michael, but he grew up with me. Starting his career with his siblings, the Jackson 5 in 1966, at the age of 8.

Wait, I wasn't even born yet. Ok maybe I don't remember. But I saw the pictures, that sort of counts.

My favorite MJ album is "Off The Wall." But "Thriller," was pretty good too. Although the Thriller video always gave me nightmares. But "Thriller," does have my favorite MJ song, "Pretty Young Thing," on its track list.



Honestly , though, MJ has so many great songs it's hard to pick a favorite. Fortunately, we will have his music forever.

Yes he had some drama in his life, but eventually I will forget all of his drama. The plastic surgeries and skin whitenings. The molestation trials and the baby over the balcony incident. Yeah, those were all a product of MJ the Man and media hype. Trust me, it can't be easy living under a microscope, while the entire world is watching.

I will always remember MJ's music and his dancing, and so will my children. Those come from something much bigger than Michael Jackson the Man. Something we're all a part of. Call it what you like Spirit, Soul, Yahweh, Creativity, Jesus. Whatever you call it, it's the common thread by which every living being is connected.

The next video is Stefan's favorite MJ song. Do you have a favorite MJ song? Let's remember the flawless, pure spirit of Michael Jackson, by listening and dancing to his music.

Michael Jackson "Black or White"

In honor & loving memory of Michael Jackson August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

Thank You

Though writing a blog everyday, takes a lot of dedication or obsession, I love it. Except on the days I don't love it. Those days go something like this: I'm exhausted I have nothing to post for tomorrow, what am I going to write?

Then I remember writing is a labor of love, and that keeps me going.

The other part of the blog that keeps me going are the readers. I love the blog readers, and I adore making them laugh.

When someone says to me, "I love your blog!" it fills up my insides with warm fuzzies.

And did I mention it keeps me blogging? There have been plenty of days, when I think, "that's it not another day of this blogging nonsense!"

Then someone says those four magical words, and my attitude transforms into "The Little Engine That Could."

"I think I can, I think I can."

Thank you! to everyone who takes the time to read my blog everyday, or every other day, or once a week, or even once a month. I deeply appreciate the support.

The Shaq's Game of Horse Challenge with Bruce Manley

"Hey Stefan, check out the greatest horse game player ever, on You Tube," I say.

"No way is he going to make that shot!" says Stefan. "Oh my gosh, he made it!!!"

I found this video in one of the Shaq's tweets, "THE_REAL_SHAQ i wanna play this guy in horse for a thousand dollars, find him pls http://bit.ly/CK5nk"

Somehow, I have a feeling Shaq is gonna lose a 1000 bucks. Don't take my word for it watch Bruce Manley shootin' hoops for yourself. "He's amazing, so amazing." I have a funny feeling, Bruce Manley is about to go viral.

Balancing Act

Vinny playing the Birthday Candle Third Eye Balance Game.

I love this picture. Yeah, I'm a Mommy Nerd, which is better than being a Mommy Nazi. Although my house would probably be a lot tidier. Hmmmmmm. No, nevermind.

L, M, N, O

".................now I know my ABC's next time won't you sing with me," Sings Gio for the 5th time that night.

"Mommy, Daddy, you're supposed to clap now," says Gio.

Good thing we have him to keep us on track. He may be be our only hope for an organized future.

"Are you ready for another song?" asks Gio.

"Sure, baby, go head," I say.

"A, B, C, D........................."

Second verse same as the first.

Yes, Honey, Today Is Father's Day

The other night, Stefan and I were watching TV. Well, I was Tivo-ing through the Country Music Television Awards looking for Sugarland, while tweeting on Twitter.

Yes, my multitasking is off the charts in uselessness. But one of my favorite hobbies is making commentary. I have a feeling my Husband appreciates that he can choose to read my commentary, or not, instead of having to listen to it, incessantly.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah," says my Commentary.

Anyways, while we were watching the awards, Stefan noticed Father's Day trending on Twitter. Meaning a lot of people were tweeting about Father's Day on Twitter.

"Did we miss Father's Day?" asks Stefan.

Of course, this sent me into a fit of laughter. And today, the actual day of the Father, I'm letting him know it's his day to do whatever he wants because he is the Best Daddy Ever!!!!!!!

Even more importantly, I'm not the only person who thinks so.

"I want to go with Daddy," shouts Gio.

"No, I want to go with Daddy!" shouts Vinny.

"Now boys, there's enough of Daddy to go around, but please save some of him for me," I say. "So what do you want to do for Father's Day, honey?"

"Sleep," says the Best Daddy Ever.

What To Do?

Surfing: A fine choice.

"Daddy has to work tomorrow," I say to Vinny. "And Gio has school. That means we can ride our bikes, go for a hike, or go surfing together."

"Let's just lounge at home," suggests Vinny.

"Sorry, Mommy doesn't play that game," I say.

Where's Vinny?

In general, my husband picks Vinny up from school, everyday, with a few exceptions.

My cell phone rings, "hello," I say.

"I can't find Vinny anywhere," says Stefan. "He isn't in the garden or in any of his usual places.

"Um, Vinny, Daddy is looking for you," I say to my son, who stayed home sick from school. "He wants to know where you are."

In the background the people at home are laughing out loud hysterically. (Me and Vinny)

Stefan the Dad breathes a sigh of relief.

Sugarland B52s Love Shack CMT Music Awards 2009

I love that Sugarland performed "Love Shack," at the Country Music Television Music Awards. They're so alternative!

Yes, Sugarland pays homage to the band that sang "Love Shack," originally, by bringing the B52s on stage with them. Not only are there black people on the CMT Music Awards now, but there's the B52s, and a man in drag, from what I could see.

"There's hope for change, people."



As far as I know the B52s aren't even country, yet. Though any day now there may only be one music genre left, and it's going to be country. Because, that's where the money's at, y'all. It isn't as if all music will sound like country, they're just gonna call all music, "country," for financial purposes.

Don't believe, me just ask Taylor Swift. So what if she writes her own songs, tweets and updates her own Facebook status, she can't sing, live anyways. But those may be the very reasons she won Video of the Year and Female Video of the Year. Thanks MTV.

I'm not a Taylor Hater. She's great, and for the record she's a decent rapper. I'm still wondering why she didn't hostess the CMT Music Awards. Maybe next year.


Here are my tweets from the CMT Music Awards 2009

I'd rather see Taylor Swift hostess than that other guy whoever he is. CMT Music Awards about 18 hours ago from web

Why aren't they showing the guy in drag on the CMT Music Awards? Is he part of the chicken fried band or just entourage

You know the economy is bad when the CMT Music Awards has sponsored stages. I wonder if Viagra will be sponsoring any of tonight's stages?

Duo video of the year SUGARLAND!!!!!! CMT Music Awards. Surfer girls rule!!!!

I should have gone with Keith Urban and Sugarland instead of Sugarland with Kenny Chesney. CMT Music Awards

#haveyouever seen the B52s on the CMT Music Awards singing Love Shack? Funnest duo of the year is Sugarland. Off the charts sweetness.

Listening to Trace Adkins sing "you're gonna miss this." great song and so true. CMT Music Awards

T-Pain and Taylor Swift almost as awesome as Sugarland and the B52s. Very close. Ok it's a tie. CMT Music Awards

Stefan:He sounds Australian.Me:He is.He's married 2 Nicole Kidman.They're both Australian.C people magazine is educational. CMT Music Awards

Stefan on Keith Urban: Maybe he's from the country, Australia. Me: lmao

Stefan: What's his name Keith Ledger? Me: lmao again. CMT Music Awards.

Stefan:Did she write this song or did she steal it?Me:Isn't that a Bryan Adams song? American Idol loser. Stefan:Yo check it out pitch problems.

Oh no they makemovie and rock stars tweet. That's so mean. Poor Brad Paisley. CMT Music Awards.

Wondering what Toby Keith is wearing under his hat? does anyone know? It looks like a bandanna. Is he a gangsta? CMT Music Awards.

Holy Disney!! Taylor Swift just won video of the year. Toto I don't think we're in country anymore. CMT Music Awards

Host of CMT Music Awards: Music Executive making his last and final stand. He knows his days are numbered. Thank you for the synopsis.

Poor some sugaron me Taylor Swift?Take some lessons from Jennifer Nettles. http://bit.ly/xuCET CMT Music Awards

#haveyouever watched the CMT Music Awards and wondered where the heck is Carrie Underwood?

Stop Motion Post Its

Here's a sweet little video made using 100s of still photos. All the artwork was created with Post Its. If only I had invented that!

Vicks VapoRub

Vinny has had the worst cough, since last week.

"I can't stand this cough," says Vinny between coughs.

Fortunately, he hasn't coughed up a lung, yet.

"I think I have that disease where you can't breathe," says Vinny.

"You mean asthma," I say.

"Yeah, that one," says Vinny.

"Nah, you just have a bad, evil, mean, vicious cough," I say hoping he's wrong.

My husband on the other hand had a different perception of the entire situation: "stop coughing on purpose."

Which Vinny and I had a ball with:"Stop breathing on purpose.Stop eating, on purpose. Stop snoring on purpose, etc.

Though I must admit, he did seem addicted to coughing.

"Vinny you might be addicted to coughing," I say.

"Well, you're addicted to coffee," says Vinny.

And I couldn't argue with that.

Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough........................................

Then two nights ago I finally remembered a solution to all the coughing, hacking and barking. Vicks VapoRub.

Here's the remedy. Massage Vicks VapoRub into the coughers feet, then cover the feet with socks. Then wave magic wand to clear auric field (you can laugh, but I'm not making this part up).

5 minutes after rubbing his feet with Vicks, Vinny says, "hey it's working!"

Though he questioned my technique initially with, "I'm coughing, so why are you rubbing it on my feet?"

But it didn't really bother me, because I get that a lot. Besides, who cares, if it works. He hasn't been coughing nearly as much and it's been 24 hours since I applied the Vicks. Yay for Vicks!

"Cough, cough," says Vinny.

"I'll be right there, with my Vick's VapoRub, honey," says the commercial, and the TV isn't even on. Do, do, do, do.(freaky Twilight Zone theme music).

Sugarland That's How I Like It

Here's a new Sugarland song, "That's How I Like It." And, yeah I like it! Big surprise.

"Squawk! Squawk!" Apparently, Jennifer Nettles is part bird. Maybe her feathery accessories are out of context. Perhaps, this was a Sugarland concert for birds and she was trying to fit in. Or she was attempting to make the birds feel more comfortable with her humanity.

I always say, "there's a thin line between creative and crazy." I happen to be living proof.

Happy Anniversary

Happy 12 Year Anniversary Stefan!

Wow!, who would have thought we would end up here with two boys living a great, albeit crazy, life. It's been challenging and I can't imagine doing this with anyone else. Though things do get dicey, at times, mainly me and the boys, you are the rock we lean on. Unless you're tired, then we send you to bed and make fun of your snoring.

"Daddy is part bear," says Gio.

"Part???" I say sarcastically. "He's all bear. A big, cute, cuddly one."

Life is a fun adventure with you. You're such a great partner, even though I do sometimes complain, it's really myself I'm criticizing. I think you're amazing, especially to be able to live with me day in and day out. I don't think anyone else is up for the challenge.

You make me laugh and you let me cry, those are probably my two favorite things about you. That, and I get to be myself with you, ever since day 1.

You're a great Dad. Wow. I couldn't have picked a better Dad for my boys. How exciting it must be for you to have to someone to play games and build legos with.

Sorry, I didn't know parenting would be life's biggest challenge, at least, at times. But I think with some deep breathing and exercise, you'll make it through with your sanity. I hope so anyways. How attached are you to sanity? Because I'm pretty much over it, myself.

I love you honey! You're the best. Yay! Hooray!

I'm ready for my present........


Disco haters love this song because they get hot & bothered
just listening to it. Ha!

Happy Birthday Vinny!

Happy Birthday Baby!

That's right, no matter how big you get, or how much you tower over me, I reserve the right to call you baby for the rest of your life. All because you lived in my belly. Your soul really should have thought that one through instead of just jumping in my vacant fetus. There are always consequences for our actions.

It sounds so cliche, but it's hard to believe you're 8 years old today. And that you're going to be in third grade next year.

"Mommy, do you think they are going to hold me back in second grade," asks Vinny.

"What?" I ask. "Why on Earth would you think that?"

"Because I missed the last day of school," asks Vinny.

"No, you're fine," I say.

I'm still amazed you read the entire Harry Potter series in two months, last Fall. Or that sometimes you are kind and considerate to your little brother, Gio, and baby sister, Kate.

I know Gio really loves you because when he wakes up in the middle of the night he often runs to your room for comfort. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the "keep out!" sign on our bedroom door. Or the fact that we lock the door at night.

Your Lego skills are impressive, and second in our household only to LegoDaddy. But probably not for long.

I love how you are so helpful, and I love your problem solving skills. However, I'm not so fond of all the freaky little noises you make. I'm wondering if you could please reserve those sounds for your alone time in your room (with the door closed), or during school hours. Thanks.

Also, thanks for all the help you give me on my child appropriate blogs. You're already a great writer. Must be the countless hours you spend with books.

"Books are friends, not food."

Yes, I've memorized the script to Finding Nemo. Now, I can claim the title, Mommy Nerd.

I love that you always tell me, "you're the best Mom for me," especially since your brother has been asking to go live with another family for a few days now.

"When I'm well, can I go live with Jenn," pleads Gio. "Please, just for one day."

Even cooler is we have the same warped sense of humor. We can look at each other and without saying a word, we start laughing. It's so fun, even if it confuses Daddy.

"What are you laughing at?" asks Stefan. "I don't get it."

Unfortunately, for him that makes us laugh harder.

Now is probably a great time to mention, I do appreciate those rare occasions, when you listen to me and do what I say. Thanks!

Good luck, Baby.

I love you so much, no butts,

Mommy

Big Brothers

"Baby Kate prepare for warp drive!" exclaims Master Pod Engineer Vinny.

It's days like these, I wish I had a big brother. Oh well, at least Baby Kate has two big brothers. It kind of makes up for me having none.

Are Women Born This Way?

I don't know about other women, but I was definitely born this way. Always speaking my mind, frequently, and to every one's dismay and discomfort.

I'm doing the best I can, which sometimes isn't any better than this baby's. But at least I'm making an effort to be real and speak my truth. Even if everyone wishes I would just shut up and smile. Sorry, I'm only genetically programmed to take one thing lying down.

Kenny Chesney Take Off Your........Hat

I'm so excited! I'm going to see Sugarland, again, in July in San Francisco.

"Don't miss Kenny Chesney and his friends at AT&T Park this summer," shouts the radio announcer.

Kenny Chesney, and his friends? But I want to see his friends, not Kenny. Besides, Kenny has too many Not Sugarland friends, like Miranda Lambert and Lady Antebellum.

Why would he want to have more friends than than the fabulous duo of Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush? If he's not into Jenny, there's always Kristian. Oh wait, he's married, nevermind.

Now I'm starting to worry Sugarland might only sit in on a couple of songs with Kenny. Two songs with Sugarland, is not worth the million dollar price of the tickets. Ok, I'm exaggerating they were only $250,000 a piece. Good thing I get paid to blog.........

With a get out before it's too late mindset, I try to sell my tickets by word of mouth. But even Kenny Chesney fans feel $250,000 per ticket is too high. Not very dedicated fans, in my opinion. I would totally pay that for Sugarland, right? I mean, duh, I already did.

I decide to send a message to my Facebook Friend who happens to be the vocalist/bass player of Sugarland's touring band. I should have all the information before I put the tickets up for sell on Shagslist (Craig you deserve that, too many massages with happy endings posted there, bleh.)

I send her a private message on Facebook. She responds within a day or two, which is very fast for a famous person. A quick response from someone Jennifer Nettles calls friend and describes as "pretty as a flower and sings like a bird," is amazing!

Honestly, I didn't even expect a response. But I got one and it was very helpful! And guess what y'all Sugarland will be playing for an hour!!!!!!! One full hour. 60 minutes!!!!!! And the show will be, "action packed!"

So we've decided to keep the tickets. And who knows maybe Kenny will play without his shirt? One can only hope. I don't care if they are real or not, as long as they look good. It isn't like I'm going to touch 'em.

Skater Dude

The only thing missing from this picture is a skateboard and a scarf.

"Can I wear my boots?" asks Gio.

"No you can't wear boots with shorts, unless you're a go go dancer," I say.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss I cannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!"

"Oh wait," I say. "Your shorts are green, the boots are green, so of course, you can wear those boots with your shorts. Mommy was wrong."



Gotta love those boots!

Does That Apple Have Dairy In It?

I'm pretty much lactose intolerant. Sometimes I forget this random dietary fact of my body.

"Mommy, you really shouldn't be eating that ice cream," reminds Vinny.

"Brraaaart!" Background sound: sounds like a whoopee cushion, but isn't.

Vinny is, also, lactose intolerant, like me. But he's a bit more tolerant of dairy than I am. Meaning he can eat more dairy than I can, before he has to run like mad, to the bathroom.

"Oh, I ate too much dairy, again," says Vinny from the bathroom.

These days milk and milk by products, can be found in everything from lunch meat, to pasta, to fruit. And for us the dairy seems to add up, til the toilet runneth over, so to speak.

"Throw some milk on that salami, on the guacamole, on those apples, and on all the fast food across all the land," says Put Dairy In Everything Guy.

Why, why, why do they put milk in everything? We are not baby cows, are we?

"Mooooooooooooooooo," says a calf.

Just as Vinny reminds me to stay away from ice cream, I remind him not to over do it on dairy laced food.

"Let's go to McDonald's," says Vinny

"Do you remember what happened the last time you ate fast food," I say.

"Oh yeah....Let's just go home," says Vinny, realizing denial and the bathroom aren't where he wants to spend the rest of his days.

I Want My MTV or Any TV For That Matter

Lately, I've been feeling envious of my Facebook Friends television watching. I feel as if I don't have time to watch television, but I so want to watch it.

I long to zone out and forget about laundry, whining, sex, blogging, and working for thirty or 60 minutes. TV is like acid for my brain.

"I'm melting and it feels soooooooooo goooooood," says my Brain On TV.

I start salivating while reading my Facebook Friends' status updates: "trying to figure out what to watch tonight."

"Honey, did we get rid of all the bibs?" I call to Stefan, through my drool.

"You're not pregnant are you!!!!" exclaims Stefan. "I thought I took care of that?!"

"Never mind," I say.

But I think instead of writing a blog tonight (today for you readers), I'm just gonna watch TV. I have the first two discs for Gossip Girl Season 1. I haven't watched 30 Rock in 30 weeks, I hear Big Bang Theory is funny, and I don't even know what I've missed on Oprah(Every now and then she has a show of interest to me, so I'm not totally Overprah).

At least I still get my MTV fix on YouTube these days. And I play the videos I want, when I want. Some times the videos are even more x-rated than MTV, who would have thought that was possible in the 90s?

But all of this TV talk is making me tired, and I may end up going to bed after all.

In The Middle of Night

It was about the same size and texture.

"Mommy!!!!!! Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!" screams Gio.

Time: 3 AM

This had become a regular occurrence last summer. Wait. Since he was born. But there was a new twist in his nightly waking up ritual. Poo!!!! Every night for about a month, he had been waking up with poo, in his pull up.

"Check the diaper for poo," says Stefan.

"Uh, there's none here," I say giving the area a whiff. It was poo free zone, or so I thought.

I change Gio, and easily get him back to sleep, in his own bed. I lay back down, drawing in a long deep breath, when my hand touches something, in the bed.

"What is that? I ask myself. "A piece of licorice?"

Unfortunately, I'm very olfactory, so I bring the so called licorice up to my nose to determine if it's red or black.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I scream. Da Da Da................(dramatic music)

"What's wrong?" Stefan startles awake .

"There's poop in our bed, and now it's in my hand!" I exclaim.

I jump out bed, to discard the poop properly this time.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I scream. Da Da Da................(more dramatic music)

"What's wrong now?" asks Stefan.

"I just stepped on poo," I say. "And I'm barefoot. It's all squishy!"

Oh well, at least, we were on vacation.

Somebody's Watching Me

"Hey honey you wanna see something really cute?" I ask Stefan.

"Of course, I do," says Stefan

"Look at this sweet picture of Gio sleeping with Baby Kate," I say. "I love the way he's cuddling with her."

"That's not cute, it's freaky!" exclaims Stefan. "Baby Kate is watching him!"

Who's Daisy?

"Hey look, Gio, it's a worm," I say.

"Oooooh, yeah, a worm!" says Gio. "It's still alive. Maybe Daisy would like to eat it."

"Uh, who is Daisy?" I ask, imagining a little girl, with pigtails and glasses. My stomach starts turning.

"Daisy is the turtle at school," answers Gio.

Phew.

Online Registration

Don't be deceived by this pretty picture.

Somehow, last night, when I sat down to write my blog I remembered, "oh no!" Online school registration, when is it due?"

Online registration sounds fast and easy, right? Wrong. Too bad I realized that when I was half way into the form.

First of all, I spent five minutes trying to figure out how to erase the already filled in information. As it turns out I was just supposed to verify that it was correct, which I did like 25 times, as I was trying to write over it.

"Why won't this work," I say to the computer.

Followed by silence.

Second of all, my frantic filling out of the online registration form woke up my sleeping husband.

"Honey, let me double check that form when you're done," says Now Awake Husband.

Rats! The thought of someone looking over my shoulder checking my work telling me, "you can't put your work phone number in the "home" slot," is irritating.

"Why not?" I argue. "It's the number they are going to use in the school directory and I don't know how to turn the home phone off. I know how to turn off my cell phone."

Third, I got distracted reading through the 19 volunteer opportunities available at Vinny's school. It's the volunteers, and the teachers that make Vinny's school great. It's also the very reason I make it a point to never, ever befriend the Queen of the PTA.

The last thing I want to do is stay up til 2 o'clock in the morning baking cookies for the bake sale. However at this rate, I may be up til 2 AM filling out the online registration form and then, maybe, I will write my blog.

Go ahead say it, "slacker Mom." I own it. I might even make a t-shirt. Actually, I prefer to volunteer in the classroom with my kid, which I didn't do at all this year, due to scheduling conflicts.

"Slacker Mom!" yells the Internet.

Ok, ok. The waves have been good this year, so I haven't made it in to volunteer. But the last two years, the waves were bad, and I volunteered a lot, so I'm kind of taking this year off.

On a more positive note, I am attending the last field trip of the year, next week. I'm really excited the waves are going to be flat......oops.....I mean I'm thrilled the field trip coincides with my schedule.

"I'm Madly In Love with Beardyman"

When one of my Facebook Friends says, "I'm madly in love with Beardyman. Look him up on you tube," I can't ignore it.

I found Beardyman on youtube, and now I'm madly in love with Beardyman.

"Hey, that's good beatboxing," says Vinny.

"How do you know what beatboxing is?" I ask perplexed. "Do you listen to it in P.E."

"No, me and Gio found out about beatboxing on Electric Company," says Vinny.

I guess Electric Company isn't showing re-runs anymore.

An Uphill Climb

"Gio I will help you up the sand dune," says Bee. "But you have to, at least, stand up."

"Oh, ok," says Gio. "I can do that."