Does That Apple Have Dairy In It?

I'm pretty much lactose intolerant. Sometimes I forget this random dietary fact of my body.

"Mommy, you really shouldn't be eating that ice cream," reminds Vinny.

"Brraaaart!" Background sound: sounds like a whoopee cushion, but isn't.

Vinny is, also, lactose intolerant, like me. But he's a bit more tolerant of dairy than I am. Meaning he can eat more dairy than I can, before he has to run like mad, to the bathroom.

"Oh, I ate too much dairy, again," says Vinny from the bathroom.

These days milk and milk by products, can be found in everything from lunch meat, to pasta, to fruit. And for us the dairy seems to add up, til the toilet runneth over, so to speak.

"Throw some milk on that salami, on the guacamole, on those apples, and on all the fast food across all the land," says Put Dairy In Everything Guy.

Why, why, why do they put milk in everything? We are not baby cows, are we?

"Mooooooooooooooooo," says a calf.

Just as Vinny reminds me to stay away from ice cream, I remind him not to over do it on dairy laced food.

"Let's go to McDonald's," says Vinny

"Do you remember what happened the last time you ate fast food," I say.

"Oh yeah....Let's just go home," says Vinny, realizing denial and the bathroom aren't where he wants to spend the rest of his days.