Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

Molly and Kendra.




To learn more about Molly's Avon Walk for Breast Cancer click here.

I just found out my AMAZING friend Molly is walking in this weekend's Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Chicago.

She lives in California, Internet. How awesome is that? Completely and utterly awesome.

Molly has already raised $3803.00, and there is still time to donate.

I just made a donation in memory of my dear friend Sproutie Garrin, who passed away from breast cancer. We share the same birthday. And from time to time she visits me in her angelic form.

If Molly can go all the way to Chicago and walk 39 miles this Saturday and Sunday, to raise money for breast cancer research, then a donation is the least I can do.

And if you would like to do something too, click the link to Molly's Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

Thanks!!!!

And I lived To Tell

After rescheduling my mammogram twice, I finally went last Friday. Walking into the breast care facility, I immediately felt at ease. How could I not? The place was decorated in various shades of my aura colors, yellow and purple.

I check in with the receptionist, who informs me, "We have state of the art digital mammography."

Are these mammographers, braggarts, or what?

Turns out they aren't.

Ladies, digital mammography is more accurate in detecting breast cancer. Request nothing but the best, in this case digital mammography, for your girls. Digital mammography uses lower radiation, takes better images, and can be shared more easily.

I wouldn't be surprised to learn my girls end up on flickr, an Internet photo sharing site. Just kidding. We hope.

Also, if you have breast tissue density over 50%, you should talk to your doctor about using ultrasound to check more thoroughly for breast cancer. The mammogram will detect your specific density.

After checking in, I'm shown to a dressing room, complete with a locking locker. Impressive.

I change into my purple gown, opening in the front, lock up my belongings, and Mary Mammogram takes me into the digital image processing room.

"Why are you nervous, this is a piece of cake?" she asks reassuringly.

"Uh," is all I can manage.

"Oh! says Mary Mammogram, after reading through my file. "No wonder, you're nervous this is your first time."

Yes, Mary Mammogram, you're about to digitally devirginize me with your mammography.

And I have to say, she did it gently and nicely, communicating every step of the way. She spoke in anatomical terms, which for an anatomist such as myself, is equivalent to "dirty talk."

We all know how women get "warmed up," when being talked to, and I'm certainly no exception to the rule. But she was speaking my language, Internet. How could I not succumb?

Mary Mammogram even gave my girls a soft, memory foam pillow. Now, that's some serious wining and dining.

And here's the kicker: I got to look at the digitized mammographic Pr0n, afterwards.

"Very nice," adds smooth talking Mary Mammogram.

"Oh too bad I don't have my phone, I could take pictures of the pictures," I say.

"Oh no!" shrieks Mary Mammogram. "I can't let you take pictures."

She quickly forgot, we were talking about MY BOOBS, here.

I could see I was too much for Mary Mammogram. She couldn't handle my photographic ways. Ironic, since she seemed to think nothing of photographing my girls.

Our relationship could never last, so long as she valued her photography over mine.

And like ships in the night, we parted ways. She said she'd send me a letter, in a week or so, with the results. I can't wait to see what she has to say for herself.

Mammogram

Okay guys maybe you don't want to read this post, cause it is about my boobs. And well, the twins, yes they're fraternally identical, I think????

Anyways, the kittens belong to Hubby, and he went to West Point, so I think you get my point here (He will open a can of woop butt on anyone who so much as thinks about thinking about the girls). Besides, this isn't twitter, where women post their bosoms for profile pictures, to raise breast cancer awareness via #boobieviewed.

I'm not that dedicated, however, I imagine the five guys who ACTUALLY read (yes, I know some of you come for the pictures, and I'm okay with that) this blog just signed up for twitter, or reacitavted their accounts, if they aren't on it already.

Girls, today, I'm getting devirginized. I'm having my very first mammogram, EVER. I'm more than a little nervous. And not just from the thought of them finding cancer, or heaven forbid, expired milk in my ducts.

What has me shaking in my flip flops is the smashing parts. I have a feeling it isn't going to be good smashing, either

Wait. Maybe the guys, can relate, after all. Okay, Men, Think ball smashing, without all the pain and passing out business. Yeah, exactly, no fun. No fun at all.

Right now I could use a little support from Hubby. (Let's go see what he says.)

"Honey, I'm getting my first mammogram today," I say. "I could use some support, and I'm not talking about my bra here. I was wondering if you could go with me and hold my boob, dear?"