Taize in Monterey

Tonight from 7:30 to 8:30 I'm going to Taize. I always try talk my friends into going with me. Stefan's gone once. He didn't even fall asleep. Good thing because his loud snoring would have been very disruptive.

Another time I took Vinny, but he actually fell asleep. I had to carry him out of there. At least he didn't snore.

Then there was the time I went with a friend, and he nearly exposed his crack addicted behind to the entire Taize congregation.

Say no to crack, use a belt. Getting off drugs really can be as easy as pulling up your pants.

I've been trying to talk my J Dub (Jehovah's Witness) friend into going.

"Come to taize with me, please," I ask her.

"What is it?" she asks suspiciously while handing me some J Dub literature.

"It's a special ecumenical candlelight spiritual service with chanting," I say peacefully.

"Chanting?" she asks. "No way! That sounds weird."

"It's really just beautiful singing of prayers and lines from scripture. It's not weird, really it's amazing. The repetition of of prayer through song induces a peaceful, spiritual state."

I didn't want to tell her some people think J Dubs are odd. Or that when the J Dubs come a knocking on people's doors they hide and pretend they aren't home. I didn't want to hurt her J Dub feelings.

Besides, tonight might be a little weird. They are doing some sort of healing of service complete with healing stations. Goddess forbid they do something strange such as, laying on of hands. Energy work, my favorite!

I'm praying for a sexual healing myself. One that involves sex at least once a day, though twice a day would be better, at least in the summer. Even I can compromise. I just hope I don't have to write my healing request on a piece of paper................one can only hope.

Believing is Seeing

Feeling a little tired this a.m. It must be all the double blog posting I've done the last two days. What I don't do for my friends. Nothing. At least I know it's appreciated.

Today, since I'm feeling uninspired I've decided to focus on my vision for the blog. Here it is: 6 million page views per month for areyoubreathing.com. That's a start anyways.

See I have this other vision. Buy a house at the Ranch. Ya know that exclusive community with some of California's best waves that can't be surfed unless you live there or boat in. Well, I don't have a boat. I don't want a boat.

I want the mansion at the Ranch. And everyone can help me with this vision if they feel inspired. Here's how: Envision yourself visiting me there. Do this once a day. Is that easy or what.

Also, if you'd like a little help with your vision write it in the comment section and I will hold it in my mind's eye. Maybe we could also envision world peace, and global orgasm for good measure.

Word of the day. Visualize

American Idol Top 4 Season 8 Results Goodbye Allison

Well, tonight, sadly, Allison Iraheta is sent home. I can only blame myself. Why, oh, why didn't I vote? (I'll tell you why. I don't want American Idol spamming me with text messages) And exactly who is voting anyways, deaf hormone driven teenage girls? What happened to support your sister, Sister?

I'm so disgusted I may not finish the season. The fact that the best performer from last night's show is gone, goes against all the moral fiber in my body.

Here's what my facebook friend had to say about Allison leaving:

I am so sad about Allison, too Wendy! Wait till you see her sing at the end- she was amazing!!!

I'll have to wait a few more hours to hear Allison sing, but I'm sure it will be worth the wait. And I'm going to be one of the first ones to buy her album, since I feel a little guilty about not voting. People like me, who don't vote, are the reason talented Idol contestants get sent home.

My last comment on Facebook went something like:

I hope she blows up bigger than Carrie Underwood.

Pickles

My Mom's favorite comic strip is "Pickles."

"Pickles is so funny," says my Mom. "It's the last comic I read. I save the best for last."

Which totally goes against her lifelong habit of reading the end of the book first. Parents are unpredictable aren't they?

The main characters, Earl and Opal Pickles, are grandparents. Gee, I wonder why she likes it? Maybe, she relates. Recently, the comic strip has been chronicling blogging and now twitter.

Lately, for those folks who don't read the comments, my Mom has been urging all of us to read Pickles.

Today's Pickles cartoon is about blogging and very very funny. Us older people can appreciate the humor.


Check Pickles cartoon. Opal is learning about tweeting.

I thought I'd make it easier for everyone to do what my Mom says by posting the comic strip on the blog. Trust me if we all do what she says life will be much easier.

Wow, did I just say that out loud? Oh well, it's better than writing it.

Technology makes sharing simple, and it's also going to please my Mom. I hope she thinks this is a good Mother's day present. :-)

I wonder if I'm legally embedding Pickles on my blog? If not, I may be posting from prison in a few days. Oh well, it will make a great blog.

American Idol Top 4 Recap Season 8

It's Rock Night on American Idol, and I'm wondering if Adam Lambert has been practicing for this night, all along. Tonight's host Slash and, of course, his hair, oh my! I'm not sure what it is about Slash, formerly of Guns N Roses, currently of Velvet Revolver, but I have always had a thing for him? Must be his aura. The aura gets me every time, darn it.

Elvis performs Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love," one of my favorite songs ever. Adam gave a great sounding, but emotionally disconnected performance. And he didn't make the song his own. Oh well, at least he's having fun with this whole Elvis thing. And according to my research, Elvis died in 1977, and Adam was born in 1982. Therefore, Adam could be the reincarnation of Elvis. But where's the pelvis?

Allison Iraheta performs Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby." "Cry Baby" is not my favorite Joplin song. Not only did Allison own the song, but her performance surpasses Joplin's by miles, probably due to Allison's purity and sobriety. Awesome!!!!!! The best tonight.


Listening to: Danny and Kris's duet,"Renegade." Um, now I know why Ryan explained how the dress rehearsal was interrupted: to imply a cause for their less than stellar duet. Kris is not on fire tonight. Danny was a little better on the duet.

Kris Allen sings the Beatles' "Come Together," and fell apart in a boy band sort of way, on the second half of the song. I have to admit I'm biased because I started reading my Facebook Friend's commentary and there were a lot of negatives said about Kris.

Kris is my choice to go too!

I hope my Facebook Friends are right, I hope Kris goes home. He doesn't have the talent the other three have.

Danny Gokey sings Aerosmith's "Dream On," yeah you guessed it, another favorite of mine. And I'm going with Danny ruined the song. Yikes! I think he's in serious trouble. I thought Kris was going home until I heard Danny. Wow, that was bad.

Listening to: Allison and Adam's duet of "Slow Ride." Adam just grabbed his junk! (Is that legal? Doesn't he know millions are watching?) Now there's a little modern version of Pelvis by Elvis. Adam and Allison were awesome, though Allsion had a shaky start on the vocals. Naughty, naughty, Adam.

My top two are Adam and Allison. Allison's performance was from the heart, while Adam's reminds me a little of masturbation. And I have nothing against, masturbation, but it's a little lonely. I have Danny and Kris at the bottom. Danny performed better in the duet, and that might help him with the votes.