Ollie Octopus

Internet, I am so exhausted. Today, I went on a field trip with six and seven year olds to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

How do teachers do it? Oh right they are super heros, whose cells are fueled by Awesome Sauce™

It's debatable which is more tiring; the prolonged exposure to LOUDNESS, or being in charge of three kids alone for an hour, in a crowded aquarium.

Sure, an hour soounds like nothing, and three is a small number.  But we were like dervishes, whirling from the jellyfish exhibit to an anchovy exhibit to the penguin cage.

We started out with the giant octopus, which was a huge mistake. Though at first it seemed like a great idea.

"Wow, I've never seen the octopus so active," I say.

"Me either!" agreed the kids.

Then a terrible thing occurred. Ollie Octopus turbo boosted head first into the aquarium glass.

"Ouch!" shrieked my kids. "That must have hurt."

I felt so bad for Ollie Octopus I had to hold back tears.  Obviously his cage isn't big enough.

Fortunately, the rest of our aquarium adventure was fun and trauma free. Though the voices of the captive sea creatures shouting, "all drains lead to the ocean," were disturbing.

It was awkward when a sea horse looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Help me escape, please,"

I especially related to the penguin, who was guarding her eggs, having a near panic attack every time a tourist waltzed up to the window to view her. It was heartbreaking.

It wasn't like I could have ditched the kids I was chaperoning, and start helping the critters escape? The kids would have gotten lost. Heroic efforts to return innocent captives to their home world would have been over shadowed by my lack of commitment to the chaperoning duties entrusted to me.

Besides, I can always go back to the aquarium alone. Or I can simply start a petition to house Ollie Octopus in a suitably sized aquarium known as the Pacific Ocean, on change.org.

NOTE: In all fairness to the Montery Bay Prison, not all captives even realized they were imprisoned, but the smart ones had definitely caught on to their lack of freedom and privacy.