Head Lice

Oh em gee, Internet! This parenting thing is like a roller coaster ride that I can't get off. I'm either flying high or laying in the gutter getting kicked in the hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid, I received in childbirth I might add. (Not that you have to A.W.)

"Bleh, bleh, bleh."

Yesterday, was a supreme high watching Vinny paddle into and surf waves all on his own. But last night was a supreme low.

I am laying next to Gio, when, suddenly I see him violently scratch his head.

"Ding, ding, ding!" ring my maternal instincts at the abnormal scratching.

"Oh no, he has lice!" I shout.

"Why do you see something?" asks Hubby.

"No, I just know," I say.

It was not a premonition or any sort of psychic knowing. It was simply elementary my Dear Internet. Yes, common sense based on the millions of head lice alerts we have received from Gio's kindergarten class this year. It wasn't a matter of if, but rather when.

"Da, da, da!"

Needless to say, I've been doing tons of laundry and picking nits, yes that's where nitpicking originates, out of Gio's hair ALL DAY LONG. And then some.

The nits were in endless supply. They were going the distance. they were going for speed. I was all alone. In my time of need.

Huh? Sorry, I wrote out in song.

And we now return to our regular programming.

"Honey, we should just give them buzz cuts," I say admitting Nit Defeat.

"Yeah, let's do it!" says Hubby.

Sadly, my Dear Sweet Mother gave them cute haircuts last night thinking their hair would be short enough.

"Their hair is still too long," I text my Mom.

"I don't have my clippers," texts my Mom.

"I have clippers," I text.

"I don't like yours," texts my Mom.

"For the love of lice free hair make it shorter, please!" I text.

Silence

Come to find out, my Mom doesn't like burr, that's what she calls them, cuts. And if my Mom doesn't like something she doesn't do it. Period. And now, Internet, you know where I get it from.

Anyways, with no hope of my Mom helping, Hubby was on Crew Cut Detail armed with CVC Pharmacy Special Clippers, which of course, "are no good."

"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Apparently the thought of Hubby buzzing the boys hair was worse to my Mom, than her having to shave the boys bald herself.

Being quite resourceful, and knowing how to get stuff done she doesn't want to do herself, my Mom calls in for Special Ops Lice Out. And when she calls for backup, she don't mess around y'all.

Fortunately, my Mom's BFF is a barber, Lily The Lovely, who is a beautiful angel. Lily came to the house and buzzed all three boys. Hubby thankfully is not infested with bugs, trust me I went ape all over that shat, but thought he'd sport a buzz cut for the boys' sake.

I will post a picture of Hubby's cute new do tomorrow. In the meantime, I will be doing laundry. Loads and loads of laundry. And praying for a lice free environment.