Back to School Night

You have to stand far away to see the picture.

"How many hours does back to school night start in?" asks Gio.

"Two hours or so," I say. "I better hurry or I'm going to miss open house."

"It's back to school night, not open house," Gio corrects me.

The rest of the night, I kept calling it open house. And he faithfully corrected me every time he heard me say it wrong.

I'm glad somebody has it all figured out. Because I obviously don't. Poor kid is stuck with me.

But honestly, tonight could be called Open House 1. Then Art Night could be Open House 2. Open House should, in fact, be Open House 3. And Ocean's Night would be Open House 4.

Though, that doesn't sound very creative does it? Which is probably why they cleverly call it, Back To School Night, in the first place. Yeah that's actually a pretty good title.

My only problem with Back To School Night is the next day. Think about it. The teachers had double duty, but still have to be back at the butt crack of dawn the following day. While the kids were put to bed earlier than normal by the babysitter. Well, mine were.

This actually gives the kids an unfair advantage over the teachers. I feel like we're throwing our educators to the wolves. Kind of. Because if anyone knows how to tame little wolverines, it's teachers. But still.

My solution to this problem is simple: Day After Back To School Night Holiday. All in favor of this holiday say, "Aye!" Class, please, remember to raise your hand before speaking, and no blurting.

***Back To School Night has been brought to you by The Committee for the use of Cruel and Unusual Punishment against Teachers .