Friday, September 19, 2008

Dear Mr Jon Bon Jovi

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Hi Jon,

How are you? Well, I hope. You look fine.

I am writing to ask why on earth would you record a version of, "Who Says You Can't Go Home," without her awesomeness, Ms. Jennifer Nettles? I thought y'all were friends? Didn't you two win an award for best collaborative video from the 2006 Country Music Awards for that song?

Oh, how quickly we forget our friends, Jon. Or maybe it is the fact that you and your other friend Richie Sambora penned the song together and you feel a sense of ownership? Is this a boys' club thing? You can't take it with you when you die, Jon.

More importantly how am I supposed to sing the girl parts, when all I hear is your man voice?

I phoned Ms. Nettles for a comment, but all her agent had to say was,"who did you say you were with?" Then we lost our connection. Cellphones. Why does everyone think they are so great?

I bought your album, "Have a Nice Day," because of the track with Ms. Nettles. By the way, y'all compliment each other so well. I was excited when I saw, "Who Says You Can't Go Home," listed as the fourth track. But as I was listening to the song I discovered Ms. Nettle's voice was completely absent. The track with Nettles is dead last. Jon, are you listening?

To think, Ms. Nettles always has something nice to say about you. This is a testament to the depth of her character, I suppose. She could teach you a thing or two.

Now I can't even believe you made a video without Ms. Nettles, one with an odd horny dog, but you also photoshopped her out of the original habitat for humanity version of the video.

Jon, I promise, and I swear I wouldn't lie about this, you are just as pretty as Ms. Nettles. But, um, I think she has you beat on the hair do thing.

By the way, I love the track, "Welcome to Wherever You Are." This could be the theme song for the world. My favorite line is, "remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes." Those are wise words anyone could live by, even though it wasn't a chart topping success. Maybe you should have released that on the Christian charts, now that you've gone Country and all, what's another genre in your bedpost. Oops, I mean your belt.

Sincerely
Wendy, Huge Fan of Jennifer Nettles, but I love you, too, honest.
 
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