Sally Mander

Yesterday, while I was writing in the backyard and the boys were playing, they discovered a new creature.

"Look, a lizard!" screams Gio. "It's really big!"

Normally, I would ignore this ranting for a little while, but at Lake Tahoe this summer when Gio screamed, "a snake, a snake!" I learned to take his creature identification skills seriously. When Stefan and I heard Gio scream, "snake" we both thought in our minds, "oh it's just some sort of branch."

Upon investigation Stefan discovers, "it really is a snake!" And even though it was a small, cute snake, I got out of the water immediately.

Did I mention I don't like snakes? I can't even watch them on TV. I am certain in a past life I was some snort of snake charmer who suffered a mortal wound by one of my charmees. Or maybe I was just looking at a picture of a snake as I lay dying.

So when I heard "lizard!" I jumped out of my lawn chair to see what the boys had found. When I arrived on scene and caught my first glimpse of the creature I assure them with, "oh, that is just a plastic toy. Lizards aren't orange."

Then to make sure, I gently poke at the plastic toy with a very long stick and it seems stiff and plasticky. I return to writing.

"It isn't a toy and it isn't dead," states Vinny.

I get up again and concede, "okay it isn't a toy, but it is underwater so it must have drown." I go back to my chair.


"It moved!" screams Vinny and Gio in unison. Vinny demonstratively performs a squiggly wiggly dance mimicking the creature's own movements. It was very convincing so I got up, again.

"It isn't dead," says Vinny. "It's alive. And it isn't a lizard. It's a salamander, and salamanders live in water."

Is there a show called are you smarter than a second grader, because suddenly I feel like I am on that show? Now I know where the concept for reality TV came from.

I run to the internet, quickly look up salamander, and lo and behold it is a salamander. And she does appear to be alive and looking at us. By the way, salamanders are well known for playing dead.

Later that evening as we are all discussing the salamander with my husband I say, "Yeah, those salamanders really know how to play dead. We all thought she was dead."

"You mean you! thought she was dead," Vinny reminds me.

Oh, yeah, right how could I forget that important detail?

Gio on the other hand still thinks she is a lizard.

"Say 'sal-a-man-der'," we linguistically coach him in unison.

"Ssss," Gio starts and abruptly stops. "No! I am not going to say salamander because it's a lizard."