Squirrels Harrass Tourists at Carmel Beach, California

Carmel Beach isn't just for people and dogs. Say hello to Ms. Squirrel.

"Hi!"

I learned yesterday, while at Carmel Beach, there is not only a dog catcher, but a squirrel catcher, too. And, I'm fairly certain they are one in the same person.

My dog and I got busted here months ago for being too far away from each other. Yes, apparently there is no leash law at Carmel Beach, but there is a Minimum Distance Requirement. Who knew?

"Not me," I assure the officer.

Besides, the only reason she wandered away from me is to find food because we don't feed her enough at home. Dog food is expensive.

"If people didn't leave food behind on the sand dune my dog wouldn't wander away from me," I explain to the officer, but she didn't care.

Excuse me, isn't that called littering?

The reason my dog wandered away from me is, probably, the same reason the squirrels are so tame around here. They love people with food. And every person is potentially a people with food to a squirrel.

Yesterday, I found myself, eavesdropping on the dog/squirrel catcher. I couldn't help myself. She was talking to an innocent tourist having a picnic on the beach when I overheard her, ask him the most ridiculous question ever.

"Are these squirrels harassing you and your family?" asks the police officer.


Those handcuffs are far too big for a squirrel.

I immediately had visions of trapping cages laced with poison. My husband's visions were far worse and involved a gun. His visions were so bad, in fact, the mere mention of them could leave the entire Internet with nightmares for weeks.

The man, not wanting to get the squirrels busted, or worse, answers, "No."

"Phew!" says the squirrel.


What I want to know is, who do the squirrels complain to when people, such as my son in the tree, harrass them?



Actually he was more disturbed by the squirrel, than the other way around.

"Mommy, make the squirrel move," says Vinny.

But even as I moved closer to the squirrel, the squirrel didn't budge. If it were up to my son, I suppose he would have had the poor squirrel arrested.

"I'm a nice squirrel, really," says the squirrel begging for a nut.

Yes, where do the Mama squirrels file a complaint about the people who give their babies food, creating an unnatural reliance on humans?

"I have never heard of such a place," says the squirrel. "Do you think one really exists?"