Hygienic Crush

I hadn't been to the dentist in four years. I have a lot of excuses for not going. One, I was pregnant, and I didn't want to harm my baby. I held on tightly to my crack pipe, though. Actually I hid it in a drawer where no one would find it.

Wait.......I haven't been pregnant for a long time, but when I'm bloated I look pregnant, does that count? Okay, I just don't like going to the dentist.

Did someone say, "No one likes going to the dentist." True, but I like it much less than everyone else. Anyways, recently my husband came home from one of his bi-annual dental cleaning exams, and for some reason, the dental hygienist's name kept coming out of his mouth.

"So and so said if I brush my teeth like this, blah, blah , blah," he says on day one.

"Do you know so and so's blah blah blah, because her blah blah blah is you know who," he says on day two.

"Wow she is the best dental hygienist ever," he says on the third day.

"You have a crush on the dental hygienist," I say and promptly schedule an appointment.

And this is what it takes to get me to the dentist: jealousy, curiosity and the hope that maybe she really is good, and not just beautiful. Beautiful is okay, but I need someone really good.

Over summer the dentist called me himself not to schedule an exam, but for an alternate reason. Still I took it as a sign. Also, my friend's four year old is no longer afraid of the dentist. So I thought, at ten times her age, I probably need to get over my dentaphobia, too.

But my husband's crush was the kick in the butt that got me through the dental office door.

"Do you want to keep your teeth?" was one of the first questions on the in take form. Really? Are there people out there who say, "No I don't like these teeth, take 'em away." Or is that some sort of dental bully scare tactic?

After 69, 000 x-rays, I finally meet the hygienist. And fortunately for me she was awesome. She kept saying, "Wow, your teeth look really great. You're lucky you have great genetics. Keep up the flossing! It really works." Everyone needs a good cheerleader. She was better than anything I had imagined myself, which wasn't very good, to be honest.

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I don't believe in genetics. I don't want all my parent's diseases or behaviors, but that didn't stop me from soaking in all of her positive feedback, right down to the dentin.