"Would you like a muffin?" I ask Vinny as we are driving home.
"Yes, please," he answers.
I proudly hand Vinny a muffin, even though I coudn't take a dime of credit for supplying the freshly baked, warm, out of the oven muffins. No, they were given to us. But that didn't stop me from filling up my guilt hole, which gets a little bigger everytime I find myself empty handed while he is starving.
"How many are there?" he asks.
"There were six. Now, there are four," I answer. I was going to wait till we got home to eat one, but the aroma made it impossible.
"I think all the people who are growing in our family should get two. And the people who aren't growing should get one each. So you and Daddy only get one, and Gio and I get two."
"Are you sure Daddy isn't growing because he eats as if he is still growing?" I ask. My husband can eat anything he wants, at all hours of the day and night, without gaining weight.
I, on the other hand, sit next to him innocently while he has a midnight snack which was preceded by a 10 p.m. snack, and my pants get tighter. In fact, just to maintain his body weight he has to eat like that, or he will lose weight. Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?
"You and Daddy aren't growing. I need to keep my strength up. Please, give me another muffin."
"Okay," I say all the while scheming and wondering if he's weaker, will he have less energy to indulge in sibling rivalry with his brother?
Authors Note: Not only has it taken all night to write this blog because it was filled with many distractions including but not limited to getting my kids to fall asleep in the same room, intense phone counseling, Stefan's incessant philosophical chatter and eating. Between the times of 10:15 PM and 11:10 PM he consumed a medium piece of salmon, a two egg omelette, and not one, not two, not three, but four pieces of bread. Then to add insult to injury, he went on and on about how delicious his omelette tasted. Which wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't smell so tantalizing causing my stomach to grumble and my mouth to water.
4 comments:
I just put on 5 lbs while reading this.
yah, no fair. but oh well, life balances itself out. if you dont have a problem in one area (weight gain/physical) you have problems in other areas (mental/emotional). like for instance, really beautiful people (like models and actors) are usually pretty psycho. I'd rather be 10 lbs overweight than psycho. wouldn't you? im not saying stefan is psycho though.. even though he gave me drugs.
So you're saying I'm 10 pounds overweight?
HAHAHAHAHA!
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