The Thing About Crushes

Sometimes we think someone has a crush on us, but in reality they don’t. Maybe the person is just being nice. Or, perhaps, like aura colors create frequency resonation and attraction between people. Recently, I was eavesdropping on some kids, when one of the girls says, “I think Vinny has a crush on me.”

My ears perked up on this note and I quickly joined in on the conversation. “Why do you think he has a crush on you?” I ask.

“Oh, because he always calls me by my nickname,” she answers confidently.

Right then I knew Vinny didn’t have a crush on her, because I knew he thought her nickname was her name. Yes, I had insider information. In fact, I also thought her nickname was the name she went by.

Around the same time I thought the youth minister at Gio’s school had a crush on me. Every time I took Gio to school for the last two years or so, I would say, "hi," as we walked by his tiny office.

Then one day, for no apparent reason, he started coming out of his office when we were going to, and from school. He had never come out of his office before. I didn’t think too much of it till we were leaving one day.

"I don't want to leave, Mommy," complains Gio.


“He can stay, and I’ll go,” offers Youth Minister Guy.

“Ha, ha, ha,” I reply and leave quickly.

What is this guy thinking? Can’t he tell I’m married? Wilco Tango Foxtrot! I even called my friend, in a tiff, to complain about my so called admirer.

From then on, I attempted to avoid him. I wouldn’t even say, “hi,” anymore. I walked on the opposite side of the building from his office and I looked down while doing so. I'll admit he was cute. He had a big violet aura, and I was feeling uncomfortable.

After dropping Gio off at school one day, he came out of his office, and I had nowhere to hide.

“Hey, my name is Andy,” he says offering his hand which I nervously accept. After all, it would have been weird to say, "sorry, I can't shake your hand because I'm married. As in not available."

“My name is Wendy,” I say trying to remember to breathe. Since we shake with our right hand, it would be convenient to also wear our wedding rings on the right hand, now wouldn't it? I feel this would make the "I'm not available," communication more clear without having to come out and say it causing needless embarassment.

“Well, I just wanted to say thanks for saying “hi” to me everyday. This is my last day here. I got a new job as a minister at a big church.”

“Oh good. You shouldn’t be hiding in that lonely, little office, anyways. You need to be inspiring thousands and thousands of people.” Somehow, I refrained from talking about his violet aura, directly anyways.

“Phew,” I thought to myself. The whole time he was just trying to find a way to say "goodbye." And to thank me for saying "hi" to him all this time. And I thought he had a crush on me, and was trying to avoid him. Yes, I was feeling very silly.

Anyways he’s gone off to inspire thousands of people as he should. But sometimes when I walk by his office I pretend he still has a crush on me.