Garfield is Hungry

I Can Has Cheezburger In My Bed


No food for me, I'm watching my figure.

My oldest son, Vinny, is always hungry. In fact, his first word wasn't Mama or Dada. It was Eat, without the T, right around five months of age.

"What's your favorite thing to do?" I ask Vinny.

"Eat," he answers, of course.

He idolizes Garfield the Cat, who also lives to eat and sleep. I wish Vinny would focus more on Garfield's sleeping hobby, and less on the eating hobby. It would be cheaper and quieter.

"Did you know Garfield fantasizes?" asks Vinny.

"About what?" I ask.

"When Garfield is sleeping he fantasizes about eating," Vinny says chuckling. "And when he's eating he fantasizes about sleeping

Then Vinny goes on, "when Garfield is on a diet he eats celery and leaves." Seems like Garfield might prefer the math diet.

Then there's the problem of Odie.

"Vinny, Gio is not Odie the dog?" I keep repeating over and over.

Gio you are not Odie or any other dog," I protest. "Get off your hands and knees, and stop drinking from the dog's bowl!"

One day Vinny was telling his friend a funny Garfield story.

"Whose Garfield?" asks his friend, while Vinny laughs out loud at his own story. "Oh I know, he's that rude cat," she says answering her own question.

Exactly.

"And your other favorite thing to do in the world, besides eat?" I ask Vinny.

"Read," Vinny answers.

What a relief! At least half of him aspires to greater activities than Garfield. Reading is quiet, and doesn't require money, as long as the libraries stay open. Even better, when he reads, he's so involved in his book, not only does he tune out the outside world, but he doesn't even think about food.