Ocean's Night

My kind of Ocean Night. Unidentified Surfer.

Age wise I fall into Gen X, but really I'm a Gen Y'er in behavior. I mean I blog my entire personal life to the world and then some, I tweet, I have more Facebook Friends than real world friends and most importantly, I'm a slacker Mom.

I've sworn off giving my kids birthday parties, because they are way too much work. But if I had a sister, I would totally make her throw my kids' names on the invites to her own children's parties. Yes, she'd be all goody goody, and I'd be all, "baa baa baa." Or do sheep say, "maa maa maa?" See what I mean? With it Moms know the answer, without having to ask.

Last night, I actually paid off my kids to leave a school function. Vinny's school was concurrently, running an Ocean's Night and a book fair. Seems like a great way to sell books to me, too.

I didn't have the intention of buying off my kids, like some mobster Mommy, things just worked out in my favor.

I was even planning on staying an entire hour, but when we hit the first activity area in the gym I nearly fainted. I get overstimulated very quickly, and I was overwhelmed by the amount of people crowded in the tiny room. I'm talking elbow room, y'all.

Then people started asking me about the contest, and I'm thinking to myself I should have printed and worn the "No I Didn't Win," t-shirt. I was so overwhelmed with anxiety and claustrophobia I couldn't even say, "I'm over that.....if you need more information, please refer to www.areyoubreathing.com May 17."

I should have at least printed a t-shirt that said that......oh well.

So after the claustrophobia learning area, we hit the book fair. It made sense, because at that point I was looking for a way out, fast.

"Books?" I say. "You want books, of course, you can have books," I tell the boys.

I didn't even say, "after we buy books, we're outta here." I played it cool. I knew I didn't have to say it, because lady luck was playing straight into my hand.

After our purchase, we made our way down to the lower playground for 10 minutes, a playground devoid of anything educational (fun may be completely under rated by some educational administrators). The boys played happily, while learning no-thing.

Then I roped them in with, "time to read your new books." And we shuttled off to the car without a single complaint. Goodbye, Ocean's Night, goodbye.